Sorry and still sick!

January 9, 2010

VFW Hall
9075 Mason Dr
Newaygo, MI 49337

Doors will open at 4:30pm
A welcome will happen at 5:30pm
Dinner immediately following the welcome 6pm-7pm eat dinner
7pm introduction and about the event
715pm introduction of a speaker
745 faces of CHD video
8pm a formal waltz in memory of Ethin Twigg
805pm a thank you and enjoy the rest of our evening dancing

Dinner will be donated and catered by CSK Catering. There will be things to drink with a tip jug donation.
There will be a silent auction and dancing after the thank you
Tickets are $75 for one or $125 for two please make checks payable for the tickets to Jessica Twigg and in the memo line write Heart Ball
This is a black tie event so dig out your tuxes and formal gowns for a great cause that will help the Hearts of many!!!
All proceeds from this event will be donated to the University of Michigan Mott's Children's Hospital Congenital Heart Center in Memory of Ethin RaiLuc Twigg 1/9/09-6/27/09
R.S.V.P. to Jessica Twigg
513 Sunset Dr.
Newaygo, MI 49337
chdhlhs09@yahoo.com
616-634-3029
In other news I am still in desperate need of blankets. Our Cuddles From The Heart Program in MI is off to a good start and we have about 210 so we only need about another 90. I think that this is very doable. I also think that if we get more than that would be even better as it would allow the kids and the families to really have a choice. You can mail me your new store bought or homemade blanket to Jessica Twigg 513 Sunset Dr. Newaygo, MI 49337
We will be handing these blankets out in Feb. at Mott's where Ethin spent his life. The comfort of our own blankets during his life was just enough to make the hospital feel more like our home than a hospital. The nurses liked putting them on his bed and I liked knowing there were some areas where comfort was attainable. So let's get these blankets!!!
I also still have Ethin's Bracelets. They are $2 each and I can mail them to you if you mail me the money to the above address also. All the money from these bracelets are funding the heart ball. I am also in desperate need of more pictures for my Faces of CHD video. I need pictures of people and children with CHD's emailed to me at chdhlhs09@yahoo.com with the picture I also need the name of the child and the CHD they have. I also need more CHD Angel pictures with those pictures I need their first name and last name if you wish as well as their birth date, Angel date, and CHD. Spread this around please as I am trying to make this video a good one to show at the heart ball.

Well this week has been rough. I was so sick last week and then I went to the doctor today and I now have bronchitis. I can not win for losing!! I also have had a very rapid heart rate the last few weeks like it ranges from 94-170!!! I have SVT, but lately it is getting much worse. So I also had an EKG done today! It is a good fast rhythm. So I go back in a month to have another EKG and get referred to a cardiologist and possibly start beta blockers. No bueno!!!

On a bright note the weather in Michigan has been amazing!! Not sure how it is that MI weather always seems to just be weird! Needless to say we are all enjoying the weather here is a picture of the J Triplets from this weekend outside in the leaves with our dog Inge. Yes our dog is named after the Detroit Tigers 3rd basemen!

Yep there they are Jessa, Jayde, Jonathin, and Inge. Funny that the only one looking at the camera is our dog!! Oh well I still love the picture!

Well counseling is still going. Not sure all the time that I find it to be much help, but I am doing it. So he diagnosed me with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Well I think I figured that out all on my own! However I guess it is always nice to hear it from a professional that you have a problem! All kidding aside I knew I had it years ago. However going through what I did with Ethin has intensified to the point where it is at now. Sometimes it is bad and other times it is not good, but I am trying to learn to live with it.

So on Monday Ethin would have been 10 months old! I can not believe that he would have been 10 months old or that it was 10 months ago he came blazing intot he world. 10 months ago I heard his sweet cry not knowing that I would never again hear it like that again. 10 months ago I became a heart mom not knowing that it would change my life the way it did. 10 months ago I had no idea that my heart could hurt the way it does. 10 months ago I had no idea that I was looking at the face of God. Looking back now I see many things that I did not know till now. I love you Ethin Forever you are MY Warrior and Angel!

Well so I have discovered this healing thing and grieving thing not so easy! I am starting to find some strength in God though. Just some food for thought that was shared with me. In the Bible when it says God will not give you more than you can handle he was speaking of Temptation not Grief! I am so sick of people telling me this and someone else shared this with me. To often we take the words of the Bible and put them out of context. This is written in Corinthians and if you read then you know that it's speaking of temptation.

Also I have come to realize that God is so patient with me. More patient than so many others. He never asks me not to talk about Ethin or to pretend that it did not happen. However there are people who worry when they are with me because they do not know how to react. So I am slowly going back into my shell it was so much safer there.

Also I want to apologize if it hurt people to read my last post. I know that it is not easy to read about my recollection with Ethin however it is something that from time to time I think about and when I write I write about what is on my mind. I wish I never had to experience that day he died. But I did and so it is something that I shared. I love you all so much and would never want to hurt any of you.

Also I got some more blankets today in the mail 20 to be exact! And a local TV station is going to cover the Heart Ball!!! I encourage you to use the link on the right to hear about it and to visit the Cuddles from the Heart Blog site! Woot Woot!!!

I also wrote a poem the other day and thought I would share it since I have not shared one in a while.

Life comes and life it goes

Tears fall but nobody knows

The hurt that builds deep inside

From all the painful tears I've cried

Walls put up to keep people out

Walls to quiet my screaming shout

Inside I'm dying the blood runs thick

Looking in the mirror makes me sick

The person I've become is pure hell

Crawling back inside my battered shell

Who to trust seems to be the question

I have a huge problem with perception

So in I go and out you stay

I'm content living life at bay

Judge me they all do

Easy to judge when you have no clue

I carry life really well

I look happy from what you can tell

Looks they can be pretty decieving

But it's the reason most are leaving

I have nothing more to give

Please let it go this is my life to live

Live it I will making this Stand

Every now and then though I may need a hand.

Jessica Twigg 11/6/09

Alright I also have a few prayer requests

Andrew for his upcoming appointment

My kids as we are adjusting still

The Heart Ball

The Delorey's as Rick is still in ICU

Ethan Bilpos family as they are having a rough week it would have been his 9th birthday this week

Ethin's godmother Mandy has been sick all week

Blessings and Love,