Saturday, March 12, 2011

I Am Just Beat.....

Well this week was long and full of things for me to learn.  I started my training at work for the midday/shift manager position that I was given.  I was so nervous on onday when I showed up to work that I was not even sure what I was doing at all.  Needless to say that by the time the day was done I not only survived but felt that I did a good job.  Tuesday was another long 10 hour day, but when it was done I again walked away feeling satisfied with my job and the decision to acept the oppurtunity to move up.  Now here it is Saturday night and I have completely survived my first week of training.  My job rocks!
Monday was busy not just with work, but also with life.  The kids all had their conferences for school on Monday.  Jessa's was first and that girl is doing great she is amazing.  She is in 4th grade and reading at the level of a 6th grader.  She is like 10 points away from being an independent reader at school.  Then I went to Jayde's conference....well Jayde has mastered everything that she needs to for the year, but hr behavior is a bit on the rough side as well as she would do much better if she always applied herself.  Jonathin is reading right where he should be his math is great and his teacher was very proud of how well he is doing too.  I am very proud of all three of the kids. 
Monday night was also the first round of district basketball games for the varsity boys.  Newaygo played Fremont again and what a match up it was set to be.  However Fremont not only kicked Newaygo out of the district running, but on Friday they won their tird game for the week and the right to be called District Champs.  If Newaygo was not going to win it I wanted it to be Fremont as they were the other team that played in our game so overall Varsity ball ended not to shabby!
My sister also got married on Monday.  It was a shotgun wedding, but she is happy.  So I now have a brother-in-law and a new nephew.  My family grew and I did not have to have another baby to do it.  Monday was tremendously busy!! 
Friday I picked up the kids from GP's and my sister and her husband took us out to dinner at the local chinese restaurant.  After dinner I took the kids to the movies and we seen "Rango".  It was a cute movie, but I have never heard the word hell so many times in a two hour period.  If it were not for the words hell and dam being said it was a great movie, but had I of known this before we went to watch it we would not have went and seen it.  Not to mention I paid $5 for Jayde to not even watch half the movie as she fell asleep causing the poor highschool girl behind us to start laughing so hard that she had to bury her head in her jacket.
Michigan weather is always a mystery to me.  The weather here is still not sure if it wants to be warm or cold and so we are in that limbo where we are all sure that spring is on its way.  Despite the weather I took a walk outside today for a few minutes to try and get a clear head.  It didn't work!  My head is still foggy!  That's all I have to say about that.
Well I was right that the amount of time I would be able to see Phil this week would be limited and it was.  I took him out to dinner Tuesday night and now this evening when we seen eachother has been all the time we have been able to spare this week.  So we watched the Michigan State/Penn State game today.  Boy was that disappointing.  I really thought that they would win.  We went out to dinner and now he's sitting on the other side of the couch and we are watching Encino Man.....Hopefully church tomorrow and lunch with my grandma.....Yes life is fitting together nicely in my little piece of the world.....
So this week as every other week I did think of Ethin.  I can never help think that everything that makes me happy right now I would not have if Ethin were here.....And as much as I love some of the things/people in my life I would give it all up to have Ethin back.  Someone close to me lost a brother this week and she told me how his son keeps talking about Heaven as though it is a place that he can go and visit.  Wouldn't that be nice if Heaven were a place we could just take a vacation too for a weekend?  Which led me to write this poem please enjoy and I will write on Monday for the Meet Me Monday.....Please give me your questions!!!
Love and Blessings,

I wish that Heaven wasn't quite so far away
For I would love to come for a weekend stay
I would love to come and have a holiday with you
If my thinking is right I know you'd love to see me too
Just to stay a few days and linger in your light
Fall asleep together listening to your breath through the night
To hold you in my arms or have you walk and hold my hand
Walk along the beach with you our toes in the warm sand
I'd love to see your smile and here your laughter fill the air
Talk to you and have you tell me about your life there
For as much as I wish that Heaven were a place that I could come for a night or two
This could never be as one more night would never be enough with you
So while Heaven is not a place I can share with you today
God has a place for me up there and I promise when I get there we'll play
Jessica Twigg

Monday, March 7, 2011

Meet Me Mondays

Welcome to Meet Me Mondays!!!  I am so excited!!!  I have missed doing the meet me Monday posts as they were just a way of not writing about everyday life!  And I love for people to get to know me!  So here we go with the two Meet Me Monday questions!!!

What is your favorite Bible verse?
I for years had one Bible verse that I just loved and it is the one posted at the top of my blog.  Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have in store for you," declares the Lord, "Plans of good and not evil to give you a future and a Hope!"
This Bible verse was given to me my senior year of highschool as a way to get me to "see" God's plan by a family I went to church with at the time.  When I read it I fell in love with it and realized that God ultimately had every intention of me succeeding in life!  What a wonderful promise that is to hold onto!!!
A very close second to this verse however is Joshua 1:9 which says, "Be strong and corageous, do not be terrified for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you are."  I had never heard this verse or read it until I had Ethin and after that it was another way for God to assure me that I was NEVER alone and for Ethin it just spoke volumes!  
Though these are my top 2 there are many I love and I encourage everyone to really look at these verses specially the first one and just feel God speaking to you! 

What is it like coaching your children in sports? 
It is like being the ultimate mom!  I have coached Jessa for 9 seasons of soccer and I truly loved it.  Last fall I coached Jayde for the first time and well some of your kids you can coach and others you should not.  I have never got to coach Jonathin.  However in coaching too it is a great feeling to have the trust of other children and to teach them something fun and physical!  I also love that when coaching I am given the oppurtunity to teach kids about being a team player, good sportsmanship, respect, self worth, & skills!  Kids are truly just fun to be around and it normally will bring out the best in you.  Sadly last fall was my last season of coaching soccer as life is just to busy to continue to do so and my kids are all done playing soccer as they are moving onto different sports.

As I close this update I would love for you all to share with me your favorite Bible verses. PLease comment your Meet Me Monday questions for upcoming weeks! Glad to report that my first day as a manager went well!!! 


Sunday, March 6, 2011

Busy, Busy, & More Busy

What a long week.....I think at the end of most of my weeks I give a sigh and just say that was a long week!!!  However this week was a little rougher than most.  With being with Krysten's family on Wednesday and then just the normal hustle of the week.  Needless to say I am just exhausted and would rather go to bed right now instead of going into work tonight to close to wake up and open tomorrow morning.
So tomorrow morning I will go into work and start my first day at work as a manager.  I start my trainging as a shift/midday manager.  I am so excited, but so nervous too!  I love my job though and am excited to feel like I am going places with my job.  Besides when I can go to work and know that where I work wants to be involved and make a difference that makes it even better.  
So Friday I got out of work and picked my kids up from GP's and we went and rented two movies and got pizza for dinner.  We spent the night relaxing as a family and laughing and watching movies.  We all went to bed and when I woke up in the morning the first thing I seen was Jessa who was holding my hand and with her face right up to mine she said, "Mom I love you."  It is in moments like that where I jusst melt!  I love being a mom.  The very next thing I heard came from the living room and it was Jonathin, "Jayde you are such a JERK!"  Whoa rewind.....No instead I had to get up and deal with that.  LOL  Such is the life of a mother.  We all cooked breakfast together and before I knew it their dad was there to pick them up so I could go to work.
However Saturday before work was the Michigan Michigan State basketball game.  I love watching sports and I did so Saturday in my own leisurely way before I had to leave for work.  Michigan State lost, but hopefully we willl still be in the NCAA tournament.  Phil was nice enough to text me when the game was done and let me know the score.  He is a HUGE MSU fan like me which is good.  
I feel like that part of my life this week has truly been missing.  I have not really seen him since last Sunday morning and it seems that our schedules between work and kids is not going to allow for it this week either.  The first thing I said to him this morning when we talked on the ohone was that I miss him....Man I am no good at that missing him stuff.  We are used to having time for eachother and this week it just was not possible and as I look onto this week with starting management at work I just do not see it being possible this week either.  Relationships sure do require give and take on both parts and we talked about that.  it seems that we are going to have to make time to see eachother this week if it is what we want.  I am hoping that tonight I can see him while I am on my break at work.  It looks hopeful, but we will see.
Also I received a phone call this morning from my little sister that has been living me.  She asked where I was and then proceeded to tell me that she is getting married at 4pm tomorrow.  WHAT!!!  Really she is getting married and apparently I need to be there to sign as a wittness.  Talk about a shotgun wedding at the courthouse.  That is really just never what I would have wanted for my sister!  However this is what she wants and so as her sister it is my job to just support her in it and hope the best for her and my soon to be brother-in-law and my niece and his sons.  
Alright Blog world tomorrow is Monday which means there will be a Meet Me Monday post!!!  Oh I am so excited!!!  Please make sure to comment your questions to me I will anszwer two every week!  This sis going to be so much fun!!!  However it can only last as long as I have questions....Don't be shy leave your questions and I will get them answered.  My first two questions tomorrow were from someone that personally just asked them of me, but that is OK as I did not have any left.  So until tomorrow enjoy the rest of your beautiful Sunday!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

I am Blessed

Well I got home from Grand Rapids this afternoon and got some work done.  Being at the hospital today was just all to much.  I do not know how my friends that I love dearly in the heart world can do what I saw today.  As a parent having to give your child to someone as they are saying, "No", or "Me go home".....Oh I just do not think I could have done it.  That is the one area with Ethin I never progressed to was him being able to talk to me like that to say please don't make me go.  I was so distraught after seeing all that and hearing it all and being there that the first thing I did was called Stef to just vent. 
This is an area in my life where I am blessed.  I have all these wonderful friends that let me call no matter what and for anything.  My heart family is truly amazing and I am so thankful for them.  Sometimes it is hard though as I feel so much with them and they with me.  We truly put ourselves out there for eachother and share our burdens with one another.  Sometimes it is hard to have some of my closest friends be so far away, but I truly have cried with them and they with me, we have laughed together, and we have held eachother strong....Greater Love has noone than this: to lay down one's life for one's friend. John 15:13  Yes we may not lay down our lives in the way you are thinking, but we have stopped our lives and layed down pieces of our lives for eachothers joys, heartaches, triumphs, and tradgedies....I would be nothing without so many of my friends!
The kids and I had an amazing night on Friday together.  We went to the last home basketball game with Jen & her boys, as well as when I picked up my kids from daycare I picked up Phil's son too and so he also met us at the game.  The boys lost, but Jen got a new camera and did not miss any photo oppurtunity! 
Jessa and I at the game

She put on my glasses and Oooh that tongue!

This is Cate & I Conor's sister...Amazing what having one young man play a basketball game with Ethin's name on his back got me!  This girl rocks!

Jayde and I at the game she was not impressed!

My little man and I

He is so lovable he will kiss his mommy in public I Love it but I am sure it will not last!

Phil and I at the game with his son looking on....He was my picture yesterday for my 30 day challenge on face book...Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without....This was easy as I can not imagine my life without him.  He is not just that guy that makes me feel like I have butterflies in my gut, but he is my confidant, my best friend, and he has stolen my heart!  I am so blessed...And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

This is Zach Franks he played last year and this year for Tommy Schomaker in the Newaygo Lions Have Heart Game...I'm so proud of him, but this year was his last year for that game as he graduates this year...I am so honored to know him he is truly just a great young man with great potential.  At the game on Friday Zach and I talked and he let me know that he is looking at going into the service after high school.

Jayde loved that Conor held her for our family picture with Conor at the basketball game and has wanted a picture of just her and Conor since.  It was so funny Conor asked if she needed to be held for the picture and before I could answer tater Tot Yelled, "Yes I Do!"  LOL I think she has a crush.

Saturday I woke up and was a garbage girl!!  It's a dirty job but someone has to do it!!

Um There I think???  LOL

Yes hoisting garbage!  This was after I tackled a garbage can football style.

And in we go!!!

My hands stunk so bad after we were done!!!  I am trying to convince the company I need a pink shirt!!  I want to be a pretty garbage girl ya know???

Saturday night Phil took me out to dinner and then we went and spent some time with this very special little girl!  Any guesses who she is????

Yes this is Sofi LaPres wearing her jersey from the game!!  Thank You Steve Lisee for proudly wearing her name for 2 years now.  This was also Steve's last year for this game as he is also graduating!

She is a total poser though and I loved seeing her and loved even more that Phil was there with me to experience her vibrance and zest for life.  Sofi's mom Krystin and I are very good friends and it was so nice to spend time with their family on Saturday night.

On Sunday I woke up and went to my church that I grew up in, but had made the decision this past summer that I knew God was pulling me somewhere else.  However on Sunday it was Pastor Nate and Andrea's last Sunday at CLC as they too are being called by God to move on in their ministry.  Pastor Andrea was the pastor that I did my public profession of Faith with almost 6 years ago.  She also dedicated Ethin just 4 hours after his birth and she sat with me through his second surgery.  She was a great friend after Ethin passed away and she did the graveside service for the funeral.  Her Husband Nate baptized all four of my children, was there for Ethin's first surgery and rushed down the night after his second one...He was there for the third one too.  He gave Ethin's entire Eulogy at the funeral.  Both Pastor Nate & Andrea rushed to the hospital the day Ethin was called home to Heaven.  They are both very close to my heart and I promise you if I ever get married they will have to marry me!  I will miss them greatly and feel so blessed they have been my pastors for 7 years....They have seen me at my worst and helped me through some tough times.  We have shared many joys though too....I will miss them, but also know that where ever God calls them they will succeed.

Also on Sunday going to my "Home" church I was able to see many people that have watched me grow up and have supported me through so much in my life.  One of those people in my life is Pat who also helped with the Title sequence at the top....She gave me her idea of Love...Yesterday, Today, & Tomorrow which I "chewed" on and used.  Thank you pat I love you!

Church on Sunday was also overwhelming for me in one other way.  I have one living grandfather left and he also goes to that church.  When I was little he was my pal, my fishing buddy, and many times his strong hand would hold mine, if I fell he would pick me up in his arms.  My grandfather has Parkinson's and has been slowly falling to it.  On Sunday as I held my grandpa up through the last song and walked him out to sit in the Narthenex I could not help but feel my eyes well up with tears.  Once he was sat down in a chair I looked at him with watery eyes and said very affimatively, "I Love You Grandpa."  He looked at me and said this, "Today when I opened my eyes I was here and it was a blessing, because I am still here and I got to see you. One day I will open my eyes and I won't be here and that will also be a blessing I will be OK.  I love you Jessi."  I could not stop the tears not even to seem strong for him.  I love my grandpa and it has been very hard for me to see him like this, but when he said that to me on Sunday I felt as though there I was in a role reversal, but my grandpa was still being strong for me as he always has been in trying to let me know it will all be OK.  Please pray for my grandpa and my grandma as she cares for him.  I think the kids and I will be going to see them this weekend.

Alright also I want to start doing something really fun on my blog again.....I am bringing back Meet Me Mondays!!!  What I need is any question you have for me that you would like me to answer.  You can leave them as a comment and I will answer two every single Monday!  I am so looking forward to this so please do not be shy about your questions they can be anything from what inspires me to what my biggest pet peeves are.  The questions are limitless please comment them!!!!

Until next time, Blessings my friends!

How it Feels

Well blog world here is the new revamped version of my blog.  It is still Ethin's Heart Still Beats but that is a subtitle.  The new title is Living Life with part of me in Heaven....Love....Yesterday, Today, & Tomorrow.  I vamped the whole blog to reflect so much more than just being a Heart mom and the mother who lost a child.  It reflects me being those things, but also it reflects me being the mother to the J Triplets, a friend, a woman of God, a girlfriend, and everything under the sun.  I like it I hope you all enjoy it too.  I also added pages under the title sequence. 
So there are things that I went through with Ethin that have allowed me to be there for other families.  I write that statement as I am sitting at Helen DeVos Children's hospital with a local heart family from where I live waiting for my "niece" Krysten to come out of a heart catherization procedure.  How it feels to me is almost surreal.  I feel like just yesterday I was sitting in hospitals waiting for Ethin.  I'm not sure how ready I was to be in a waiting room under these circumstances, but I know I could not have been anywhere else today.  Please just pray for Krysten and her family as we wait the day away in the hospital.  Here is a pic of Krysten and I from the ball game a few weeks ago.
Yeppers my life as a Heart Aunt!

In other news families are starting to get there jerseys from the basketball game and are posting pictures and writing about it on there facebooks and blogs.  Please check out Logan in his jersey at Stef's blog When Life Hands You A Broken Heart.

I will give a more full better update in a couple of days, but Krysten is out of the heart cath and we are waiting to go see her....Love to you All,