Dear 2010 and recap of the last Decade

Dear 2010,
  First I want to tell you welcome!!!  I have a few things I want to share with you and a few requests. 
  Let's me start by saying that I have been waiting for your arrival and am happy that you are finally here.  You see your friend 2009 was not as kind to me as I would have liked.  2009 started off rocky with the birth of my son and all his surgeries and half way through the year 2009 ripped me down to nothing!!!  2009 killed my spirit, faith, son, and heart.  So I am hoping that you will work with me to fix the damage. 
  I am already dreading things that you will bring, but I am willing to see past those few things if you could please treat me gently.  Help make the days I am dreading a bit better by bringing me joy through them.  Maybe a little more sunshine and I would appreciate some more smiles.  Would love to have a year filled with lots of good memories.  I guess I can say that 2009 did leave me with some very good memories that I am sorry to say you will not be able to even come close to doing.  So no need to try that hard.  However like I said before there is some very rough damage that has been done.
  2010 my son's birthday is in a week and that will be very hard for me.  Maybe you could help ease it by being a nice day.  Now I know I live in Michigan so I am not asking for a miracle of warmth, but a little sunshine and good roads would help.  Also we will together face my first CHD week, Easter, and mother's day without Ethin.  I need these days to be gentle and understanding.  June brings a lot of hurt and some kindness there would be appreciated! 
   Also let's not forget that I have big plans for the year and would love if you could help me through it.  I really can not handle another year like your friend gave me so let's focus on that and stay positive.  Oh and please try to understand that I may cry often about the things that happened in 2009 and you may remind me of some of those things.  it is ok and I am not mad at you.  2010 I think if you can contiue to understand all of these we should be fine.  However if you give me blow after blow like your friend did when you leave I will not have a problem telling you off on the way too.  Alright I think that's all.....Again welcome 2010 I really do look forward to spending the year with you!   Jessica


Well I made it through day one of 2010.  I almost made it through with no tears!  Then I went over to my friend Missy and Jimmy's house and she gave me my Christmas present.  I was in tears as soon as I had my eyes on it.  She gave me a beautiful picture of a little angel boy playing by a creek.  The little angel boy in the picture has dark hair and as soon as I seen it I just pictured that being Ethin.  Thank you to them for thinking of me at this time and including Ethin it.

So this month is going to be very long with all the things going on......Besides Ethin's would have been first Birthday which is the ball there are so many of our heart fmily kiddos having procedures.  I am just worried I love them so much as if they were really my neices or nephews.....and their parents as if they were my sisters and brothers......This Heart Family I have there is such a connection between us......I sure wish that I could take all their fears and scares away and be with them through everything that is going to take place and I can't do anything I feel so helpless!  So I ask you to please keep in your prayers all these kiddos that are close to my heart as they are all going to have something happening in January.....Andrew has a Heart Cath, Logan has Surgery, Jordan has Surgery, and Derrick has Surgery......Pray for them all please. 

I really still can not believe that I made through 2009 and have now really made it through the first day of 2010.  When I look at the last decade all together I survived so much!  I had all 4 of my amazing kiddos in the last decade.  Jessa in 2001, Jonathin 2002, Jayde 2003, and Ethin 2009.  I also survived my divorce in 2005,  Also fell completely in love in 2005, Then survived my complete heart break in 2008.  I completely found God again in the last decade mostly in 2008 and really never lost my faith through it all.  I made awesome friends throughout the whole decade.  My grandfather passed away in 2003 and that was the first very hard death I expericed in my life.  I moved 11 times, I graduated highschool in 2002 and then college in 2005.  I coached 3 teams in soccer and 1 in cheerleading.  I found out about my health is not the greatest, but I manage it without allowing it to control me or stress me more.  I watched the J Triplets all start school!!!!  YIKES!!!!  All 4 of my children were baptized in this decade the J Triplets in 2005 and Ethin in 2009 all by the same pastor.  I gave my public proffession of Faith and became a real member of my church in 2005.  I was in 2 car accidents one in 2006 and one in 2009.  I have owned 9 ars in the last decade(Wow that is excessive!!!)  I went out of MI 4 times.  I guess overall the decade was bumpy, but I survived it.  Really what more could I ask for.
 
In all honesty looking back on the last decade I truely believe that Jessa, Jonathin, Jayde, and Ethin were the best parts.  With my divorce being a close second!  All in all this has all made me a much better and stronger woman.  It has also made me come to terms with all that I truly want in my life.  I know that I am stronger in my faith for going through it all no matter how painful it was or has been.  I also know that I have an amazing God who will not watch me struggle in the water.  He will jump in and at least keep my head above the water. 

Alright I guess I should get some other things done....Oh and I want to thank you all for being such an amazing part of my life in the last year.....You have all been a true blessing in my life!
Jessica