I am going to start with something that happened earlier this week. Earlier this week a friend pointed something out to me and so I want to clarify it.....I am going to celebrate the birth of Jesus, but I am not getting involved with all the worldly expectations of the holiday. On Christmas morning I will be very thankful for the gift that was given so long ago to this world. Had it not of been for that amazing gift I would never see Ethin again. So I am thankful for that and will always remain thankful that God gave the ultimate gift.
I remain very hermit like as the holidays approach. I debate the tree and decorating my home, but then I realize I really do not want to do it and so then I don't. I think the truth is I am afraid to do it alone. With the kids not being here I also just do not see a sense in putting it up. Maybe I shall put up my nativity scene that is my favorite decoration.
Looking forward to Saturday. Krissy is coming to take our family pictures. She is going to include Ethin in the pictures by having me bring his monkey. I can not wait. And I want to see her she and I got very close when we were all at the hospital together. She is an awesome photographer too!
Then on Sunday I will be going to church. Hoping it is as easy this week as it was last week to walk in and sit down. It is weird to me to think of my faith over all through this. Since Ethin passed away I have "felt" God more, but I do not feel as close to him does that make sense? I honestly do feel like I am a disappointment to God. I have never claimed to be a perfect Christian but I always have thought I am a work in progress. I am a child of God and with Him on my side I will figure this out......Besides He has sent some amazing people into my life to help me when I need it and to help me stand back up!
Alright well let's talk about the rest of this week. We have snow. Not just a dusting, but about a foot of it at least. We have lots of snow! I am not a snow person. I would love snow if it were not wet or cold. Like I think the perfect snow would be dry and in like 80 degree weather. Is that asking to much do you think??
OK so I am going to tell you all that I am also very worried about the ball. Worried may not quite be covering it I am STRESSED to the max! On the bright side when it gets done this year I can have a whole year to work on it again. Ugh.....Speaking of the ball I need to let anyone that sent a pic of their child for the slideshow that we are ordering them and the cost is 14.99 each for the DVD hard copy of it. If you want one you will need to mail me a check/money for it so I can get them ordered. Remember to include your return address so I can mail yours back to you My address is as follows
Jessica Twigg
513 Sunset Dr.
Newaygo, MI 49337
I will post that video on here soon. But not yet I may not show it again until after the ball when it will be premiering. It is for the Heart Ball. Thank you to all those that contributed. I never would have been able to make such an amazing video without you all. Also I am no longer accepting pictures for the video. I will begin collecting pics for the 2011 video in July or August so keep your eyes open for them.
Also Sunday at 7pm your time I would ask that you join in lighting a candle for one hour in remembrance of any child of any age for whatever reason has passed away. Here is the website you can visit to get all the details...
http://www.compassionatefriends.org/News_Events/Worldwide_Candle_Lighting.aspx
Well I guess that's all. I am most for sure thinking I have a writers block or something. Prayers
Brit for her biopsy report
Logan cath on December 30
Derrick cath before Christmas and Surgery before the end of January
Blessings,
Jessica
2 comments:
Jess,
I encourage you to celebrate Christ's birthday in however you see fit. It is, after all, a holiday for Him, not for us. I hope that I didn't seem too pushy last week about the tree. I love you, the J's, and Ethin so much and pray for you all often. I can't wait to see your family pictures, what a great idea Krissy had to include Ethin in them! I love it!
You've taken on so much for the Heart Ball in such a short period of time, I can imagine that you'd be stressed. I've been praying that this ball will open eyes to the world of CHD, and that the evening would be touching and healing for you as well. It doesn't necessarily matter if it is the hugest event of the year, but that it does its purpose.
Love,
Cassie
p.s.-I'm still working on next week.
I can't wait to see the family pictures! The monkey is an awesome way for Ethin to still be in them!!
Don't worry about how or if you decorate for Christmas. What matters is that you're celebrating the birth of Jesus, which is the REAL meaning of Christmas anyway. I can't even imagine how difficult the next few weeks are going to be for you. Deal with them in the way that is best for YOU and don't worry about what you think other people may think or say.
Praying for you SO HARD!! Please call if you need ANYTHING at all...talk, cry, laugh, whatever. I'm here!! (And I'll try not to hang up on you over and over, LOL! :) Sorry about that tonight!)
Big heart hugs and PRAYERS!!
Shannon
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