Christmas in Heaven

Obviously the writers block I was feeling seems to not be an issue.  Two posts in 24 hours!!!  I am rocking out the blog world.  Here I encourage you to go and read about the Cuddles From the Heart Donation day for MI at Mott hospital!!!  Click here and read about the journey it took in MI.  Also we are still collecting blankets here in MI as we are hoping to do a handout for DeVos Hospital no later than April but the sooner the better!!!  Same rules apply A new homemade or store bought blanket.  You can mail them to me at Jessica Twigg
513 Sunset Dr.
Newaygo, MI 49337
email me with questions  chdhlhs09@yahoo.com

Also if you wanted to order the DVD that I made for the Heart ball you need to email me so that I can give you my address and the price.  I will need all these checks to me by Christmas.  I have to make sure that I have them ordered in time for the Ball.  Email me chdhlhs09@yahoo.com

So I have been crying a lot lately more than I was.  I guess I thought I was leveling out and now I know that I am just not feeling all in the spirit.  Some people think that's alright and others think that I should be.  I guess I just never imagined that this would be me.  I never thought I would be 26 years old and the mother of a baby that I do not get to hold.  I never imagined that I would spend what should have been a Baby's First Christmas on Earth as the mother whose baby's first Christmas is in Heaven.
The things I never imagined that I am going through right now are so painful.  I imagined so many things for Ethin.  I just as any mother have so many dreams and aspirations for my children.  Jessa, Jonathin, and Jayde I still hold many of those dreams and aspirations.  Ethin's ended in June and at times it is a hard thing to let go of them.  Sometimes I still wonder though and I think what it would be like if he were here.  I still think what it would have been like to see him grow up.
I think that other things that way heavily on my heart is the year is rounding down.  I can not believe that this year is almost up.  I can not believe all the things that have happened this year!  I guess next week will be when I truly reflect on it.  Until then I just wan tto share this poem I wrote today. 
Please pray for the following. 
Derrick has a heart cath on Wed and surgery in January
Logan has a cath on the 30th
Andrew has some stuff coming in January
Jordan has surgery coming in January
Please pray for these kids and their families.  This is my heart family and they mean a lot to me.


The angels are singing up here songs of joyous measure
Songs of a birth songs that many treasure
The tree here is enormous so full and green
It really is the most perfect tree my eyes have ever seen
God took me in his arms today and told me of Jesus’ birth
He shared with me the way you would celebrate on Earth
Mommy I am spending Christmas in Heaven this year
I want you to be happy please do not shed another tear
Jesus’ took all the children here to hills where there is snow
We went sledding and laughter filled the air I thought you’d like to know
The angels taught us all a chorus wow they are amazing
I am here in Heaven spending Christmas with our King
This is hard for you and I want to ease the pain inside your heart
I am here in Heaven spending Christmas, but we are not far apart
Sometimes I worry about you and God tells me you’ll be OK
He told me your going to send a kiss to me on Christmas Day
He tells me all the time how much you miss and love me
When your smiling and having fun I look in on you so I can see
I like it when I get to hear your laugh and see you having fun
As Christmas time approaches remember the gift of God’s son
This is not forever God told me you will be here one day
We will spend Christmas in Heaven together that’s what I heard him say
Until then my Christmas wish mommy I want to share
Hold my blanket and monkey and feel in your heart I am there
I want you to be happy and live your life down there
God’s plan for you is not done I know you think it’s not fair
So just remember that even when you do not seem to understand
Know that I am in Heaven for Christmas holding my Savior’s hand
Your Christmas wish was heard God shared that with me also
He said there was something you wanted me to know
He said that you love me ever passing day and that you miss me too
I am spending Christmas in Heaven and mommy I know this is hard for you
So Merry Christmas mommy I Love You Too please hold that when life is not fun
Love Always, Ethin Your Perfect Heart Angel, Warrior, Punk, and Son

Jessica Twigg
12-19-09