Jessa is going to start middle school in two weeks....I am nerve racked that my first born is going to be in middle school already! Orientation is next week for her and I really wish she was not growing up so fast! She is so funny and caring! I am still amazed at the way she is. She had a very successful softball season this past spring moving into a catchers position! She made it to All-Stars and then went to Michigan State's softball catchers camp in July. She is also learning that you can be fashionable and modest at the same time!
Jonathin starts 4th grade in two weeks. He is excited about his teacher and I am fearful that him and Owen (Phil's son) in the same class may be a bad thing! Time will tell....Otherwise Jonathin had a not as successful baseball season, but enjoyed being on Phil's team.
Jayde starts 3rd grade in a couple weeks and that means she is in the big elementary school.....Hard to believe that she too is venturing into a new school. She had her last year of coach pitch baseball and will venture into softball next spring and has also decided that she wants to play basketball. She is growing to be quite the athlete.
Which I guess brings me to Phil....Well I am happy to report that we are still together. We are still just dating. I look at the last two plus years with him and boy has some of it been challenging. I suppose that helps me to appreciate the fact that I would have only wanted to share it with him. He is still my best friend, my favorite team mate, and honestly he holds the key to my heart. However when I say that it has been trying it has truly had its moments of trials, but has also had moments of pure joy! We have shared many adventures together and I hope there are many more to come, but there are times it seems to me that I can not get past the part that truly wants to marry this man and share all of my life and family with him. More often than not I am very torn by this subject....Any advice would be greatly appreciated and yes he knows I want to get married.....
Alright so June marked three years that Ethin has been gone. Hard to imagine three years went by so fast yet so slowly! I still miss him very much and have a hard days, but my life has truly gone on. My J Triplets and I still speak his name often. For Phil it is a hard thing for him to comprehend, but he tries his best though his words are usually not good. He has slowly learned to say nothing and just wrap me in his arms and listen. Hard to believe where my life is and all because of Ethin's life.....
Ethin's life has taught me great lessons. I have for one learned that the only healing I will ever get does come from my Heavenly Father. He has cried so much for me and with me. I am His child and He has loved me through this. I also have learned that no matter how long a life is they all hold a deep purpose in His plan. I have come to the conclusion also that my purpose no matter how big or small will take a long time to fulfill. While I am a bereaved mother I still find that I never know what to say to other bereaved parents which breaks my heart. To comprehend the fullness of losing Ethin is still something I deal with. It has never gotten easier, but the heart stabbing pain has lessened with time; though I am not saying it does not still hurt, because it does.
God has perfectly crafted my life. He has put everyone in it that I would need!! I am greatly looking forward to school starting, because that means women's Bible study starts too. We will be studying Esther with Beth Moore! God has greatly blessed my life and I am thankful to Him who is my Rock and Refuge!
God Bless and Keep Always,