Tuesday, March 27, 2012


Well I guess Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday Tater Tot, Happy New Year, MSU won the Outback Bowl, Happy Valentine's Day, Happy St. Patrick's Day, and MSU won the Big 10 tournament!!!!  I think that catches me up, but not sure?!  LOL   It really has been a very long time since I last wrote wich strikes me as odd seems that this used to be my biggest escape from life.  Allowing the Spirit to work through me and type on my computer something that needed to be said.  Whew that was winded!  
Well Thanksgiving was alright here we all are and I mean all of us like a family Phil, the kids, his parents, and I!!
 So in the back there is me, Phil and Rylee, middle row Jayde, Jonathin, Owen, Jessa, and in the front GP & Papa.....The boys clearly not thrilled about pictures, but otherwise not a bad bunch!
 This is Phil and I with our kids minus Jonathin who refused to take another picture!  We might be Lions fans! LOL we had to wear our jerseys for the annual Lions Thanksgiving Day game!
Rylee Phil's daughter and I....This girl sure is something special, but someone should have warned me that teens are different than children!!!  Boy do I love her though!!

A nice dinner just the two of us after Thanksgiving!!!
Phil and I at the Outback showing EHSB support to Faith's Angels

Then there was Christmas and 5 kids at Christmas Whoa that was a lot!!!
 My kiddos at Christmas; Jessa, jonathin, and Jayde
Phil and I.....wow celebrating holidays with him is different

Merry Christmas from us to you!

Michigan weather has been very weird this year so outdoor winter family pictures have no snow, but we did not freeze!!!!  Here are a few of those then the blog cuz we will be all caught up!

Jessa, Me, Jonathin, and Jayde

 Walking the Bridge
 Sitting by the creek
 We love MSU!!!  Family hats!
Too cute!  Cost me $5 but I got the shot!

OK So now we are brought to present day!  As you can see the J Triplets are getting big and growing like weeds.  They are all doing well in school and getting ready to start softball and baseball.  Our spring is always busy with sports for them and me!
I guess I felt compelled to write today as I continue to have random thoughts about so many things.  I have been missing Ethin a great deal lately and so badly wish he were still here with me on Earth.  It has still never gotten better always and continually gotten different.  And life is different than what I dreamed it would be, but we have found our new normal.  God truly walked me through this heartache and I am so thankful for that.  
Ethin would be 3 now and it still hurts to think about him, but I am still overly joyed when I think about his time with Jesus and what is going on up there.
So this week I found out some things about my biological mother that made me cringe.  Something I have never talked about is my mother as the way I grew up was so bizarre, abusive, and honestly tragic.  It really was like one of those nightmares you read about in books.  As I learned more about her and the things she did in the last few days it is no wonder I have tried to forget her.  
It got me to thinking though what if what is wrong with her is genetic.  What if I myself could become like that?  I know I never wanted kids because of her, but then I had them and I just knew I never wanted to be her.  Having this stuff come up this week though has stirred many emotions and memories and nightmares for me.  
All in all I think my biggest thing right now is why did God let so much happen to one person?  How is it that my entire life has been on tragedy after another?  I do know that while it all happened to me I look at it and think there is no way.  My sister in law told me today that I am a survivor and she is right I am a survivor and it all happened, but it also made me the woman, mother, friend, and person that I am.  God shaped me from all the tragedy into this.  Whatever this is, it is me!

1 comment:

Stephanie said...

Hey Jessica, glad that you are doing well. I just finished reading your post and thought to myself...God often uses a mess in order to create a message. How true it is that life's bad circumstances shape us into the people we are today. Hugs to you.