January 9, 2010
VFW Hall
9075 Mason Dr
Newaygo, MI 49337
Doors will open at 4:30pm
A welcome will happen at 5:30pm
Dinner immediately following the welcome 6pm-7pm eat dinner
7pm introduction and about the event
715pm introduction of a speaker
745 faces of CHD video
8pm a formal waltz in memory of Ethin Twigg
805pm a thank you and enjoy the rest of our evening dancing
Dinner will be a buffet style dinner donated and catered by CSK Catering dinner will be served with one glass of wine. There will be other things to drink with a tip jug donation.
There will be a silent auction and dancing after the thank you
Tickets are $75 for one or $125 for two please make checks payable for the tickets to Jessica Twigg and in the memo line write Heart Ball
This is a black tie event so dig out your tuxes and formal gowns for a great cause that will help the Hearts of many!!!
All proceeds from this event will be donated to the University of Michigan Mott's Children's Hospital Congenital Heart Center in Memory of Ethin RaiLuc Twigg 1/9/09-6/27/09
R.S.V.P. to Jessica Twigg
513 Sunset Dr.
Newaygo, MI 49337
chdhlhs09@yahoo.com
616-634-3029
Wow God has been amazing through the process of setting this up. I feel so blessed that Ethin's first Birthday will be a huge celebration doing what he did best....TOUCH THE LIVES of OTHERS!!! I am excited to see if this will turn out the way I think it will. My goal is to sell 100 tickets but I have enough room to seat many more than that!!! Lets see how this goes!!!
In other news I am still in desperate need of blankets. Our Cuddles From The Heart Program in MI is off to a good start and we have about 30 so we only need about another 270. I think that this is very doable. You can mail me your new store bought or homemade blanket to Jessica Twigg 513 Sunset Dr. Newaygo, MI 49337
We will be handing these blankets out in Feb. at Mott's where Ethin spent his life. The comfort of our own blankets during his life was just enough to make the hospital feel more like our home than a hospital. The nurses liked putting them on his bed and I liked knowing there were some areas where comfort was attainable. So let's get these blankets!!! If that is not enough to motivate you October 24th is National Make a Difference Day and you can make the difference by mailing me a blanket for the kids at the hospital I need them for Newborn to teens although I am sure in the area of older kids I will fall short. Thanks ahead of time.
I also still have Ethin's Bracelets. They are $2 each and I can mail them to you if you mail me the money to the above address also. All the money from these bracelets are funding the heart ball.
Alright onto the life stuff......
Well last night emotion struck me like a hurricane. I was in the fridge which I have been in many times since Ethin passed and I looked in the door also done that many times and there was a bottle of medicine. I though it was going to be antibiotics from one of the kids or something and no it was bottle of Captopril!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! So I looked at it and realized what it was began to cry a little and put it back. I did not know it was there and now that I know it is there I just can not throw it away. Is that bad or what? I just do not wanna let go of him. I have tried to not sleep with his monkey and his prayer shawl....I just can not do it. I have tried to pack his stuff up rather than allow my room to be a prison when I go in there but I CAN'T do it. I have tried to not go to the cememetery as much and I can not do it.
The list of Can'ts I do not like the word can't but I am starting to realize there are some things I can't do. I can't throw away his medicine, I can't take the last bottle out of the cupboard, I can't put his monkey and prayer shawl blanket in a box, I can't put any of his stuff in a box, I can't not go to the cemetery, I can't let my son go, I can't be normal again! I can't seems to have over taken my life! Although some of these things I am glad I can't do as I think if I did I may lose the rest of myself in doing so.
I can however now sit in public for 45 minutes I may be freaking out but I can do it. I can coach cheerleading and have fun with my team(s). I can also eat at least once a day now although I normally don't. I can do these things and they are small but I can do it.
I also feel like there are certain things that are getting missed in my life. What I mean is that my life truly still revolves around Ethin and the J Triplets have gotten lost in the mix of me trying to deal with life and learn to live again. I hope that they never see this, but I do. I see that they are lost in my life. Not that they are physically lost I know where they are, but that they are lost among the fact that Ethin died and so did I. My life is not what it used to be and that affects their life too. I love them so much and I need to live for them, but truly I do not think about them the way I still think about their brother. Someone told me that I was afraid that they would grow up and realize that I loved their brother more than them.......Very hurtful yes, but maybe they are right....I tried to justify my love for my kids by saying I love them all very differently, but I really feel like a failure to my kids knowing that I can not just move on not even for them. I feel like I have failed all four of my kids. They are all very deserving of having me be the best I can be but I am not sure what the best of me is anymore.
So that being said I always talk about myself and the grief I carry. In that mix they get forgotten so I want to share them with you.
Jessa will be 8 on November 29....She is in 3rd grade and she is a cheer leader and a soccer player. She is super smart and she is my child that would come up like a rose no matter where she was. She is my first born so I expericenced mothering with her first. She is beautiful and that scares me. All in all a very amazing little girl that is growing up to fast. I miss her being little and I remember those days so well they are seeds planted in my head and my heart. Jessa has a heart murmur that never scared me until now. But she is normal as any kid her age. I dream of Jessa being an amzing woman that will do great things. I love the way the sun glows on her face and I love her smile it is full and amazing. She looks the most like me and she has my dimples. Her eyes are bright and beautiful. She loves to read and she loves church. She thrives on growing in God. God blessed my life with Jessa first I was young, but we did it. Jessa helped me do it and has never complained when I did it wrong, becasue all she knows is what I know! Here is a picture of her..........
Jonathin will be 7 on October 21. He is my first boy. He is so gentle at heart and not all tough boy and I am ok with that. I love that he is a lover. He is my cuddler even at 7 he still wants to cuddle with his mommy. He is my first momma's boy and I am hoping that he stays that way! He is a TV and video game junkie. He loves power rangers and Ben 10. Jonathin shares my intials JM and he also shares my dimples. Jonathin is togh at times to handle. He is my child that is just like me. He is stubborn and independent. He is the one I get calls from the school and then I have to laugh knowing he really is just like me!!! Jonathin is a protector of his sisters. No one messes with the girls unless it is him. Jonathin has a laugh that rings through the room and you can not ever help but laugh with him. He lives to make you laugh. He is overly friendly and that scares me. In moments of his outwardness I am glad we live in a small town. God shows me something with Jonathin all the time. God has taught me patience with him and he shows me his beauty of friendship through Jonathin. Jonathin is a friendly happy guy. Here is my Little Man.....
Last but not least there is Jayde also known as Tater Tot, she will be 6 on December 30. My golly how fast 6 years really have gone. Jayde started Kindergarten this year. I cried I will not lie. Jayde is my youngest girl and she is still just to cute! She was my child that scared me when she was young after a week in the hospital from rotavirus. Jayde cheers and plays soccer. She just wants to be like Jessa. She is my baby girl and she cracks me up. She says the darndest things. She captures peoples hearts because she is still got that baby face to her. She is smart and she has this thing about her voice that it really is just a child of God talking. She has a love for God like none of the other three. She begs to listen to Christian music in the car and she really loves church and her church friends. I see Jayde being a pastor one day preaching to many people. Tater Tot is my very brutally blunt child. She is the one that says just what she thinks. Jayde's innocence is still very sweet and I do love that about her. Meet Tater Tot.........
These are the J Triplets. They are amazing kids and I am lucky to be there mom. They are my drive. They are my everything and I would truly be lost without them. They each hold a very special place in my heart. I would not be the same without them or Ethin. Jessa, Jonthin, Jayde, and Ethin....They are my children always and I will forever love each of them for the individuals that they are! So no I do not love one more than the other I do love them all very differently. I am a mother of four amazing children all whom I love with everything I have!
Blessings and Love,
6 comments:
I'm so glad the plans for the Heart Ball are going well! What a wonderful birthday party for Ethin!! I'm so proud of all you do in his name. He will always live on.
Who said you had to pack up all of Ethin's things? To me, there is no reason NOT to sleep with his prayer shawl and his monkey. They were special to him, and therefore special to you. I see no reason why you need to get his things out of your house. I can't imagine that getting rid of everything that was his or reminds you of him would be good for you. The truth is he was and still is a very special part of your life and his brother and sisters' lives. At some point you'll probably feel like putting some things away, but Jess, it really hasn't been that long. I don't think anyone thinks you should be finished grieving or ready to erase him from your life and memory. You never will be and you never should. He's a special little guy that will always be your baby, and always be a little brother to the J's.
If his things bring you comfort, then cuddle with them while you sleep. You'll move on when you're ready. Follow your own heart, and don't worry about what people say. I bet you're more judgmental about yourself and think you should be "over it" way more than the rest of us. You've endured the worst nightmare of any parent. Take your time, keep your faith, and get lots of lovin' from your other three. You all need each other.
It was great to "meet" the J's. They're beautiful!!
Big heart hugs and LOTS of love,
Shannon
www.carolinacarters.blogspot.com
I totally agree with what Shannon has said. When Lindsay passed away we slept with her blanket and bear for months. We felted comforted by holding them when we were sad and missing her. Now they stay in our room wrapped around a bear. You don't have to do any of those things you mentioned this is all so fresh and new for you. I still have things of Lindsay's sitting around that I can't bring myself to move. One hard thing for me is when I took the clothes out of her drawer when it got close to our newest being born. Take all the time you need to grieve for Ethin. No one can tell you when you need to stop.
Your children are beautiful and a true blessing from God. Hold them when your sad to. If you ever want to chat here is my email: jonnlaura@hotmail.com
In His Grip,
Laura Groen
A Letter from Above
Dear Mom,
I know this is a rough time for you. So I will be as gentle as I can be. First of all, thank you for so many tears, particularly those shared with another that you love. They are a gift to me, a precious tribute to your investment in me. As you do your mourning, do it at your pace only. Don't let anybody suggest that you do your grief work on their timetable. Do whatever it takes to face directly the reality of what has happened, even though you may need to pause frequently and yearn for my return. Do this with courage and my blessings.
Know that sometimes inertia is the only movement possible. Give your best to keeping a balance between remembering me and renewing your commitments to life. It's O.K. with me if you go through minutes, hours and even days not thinking about me. I know that you'll never forget. Loosening me and grabbing hold of a new meaning is a delicate art. I'm not sure if one comes before the other or not, maybe it's a combination.
Be with people who accept you as you are. Mention my name out loud, and if they don't make a hasty retreat, they're probably excellent candidates for friendship. If, by a remote possibility, you think that there is anything that you could have done for me and didn't, I forgive you, as my Lord does. Resentment does not abide here, only love. You know how people sometimes ask you how many children you have? Well, I'm still yours and you are still my parents. Always acknowledge that with tenderness, unless to do so would fall on insensitive ears or would be painful to you. I know how you feel inside. To be included as your child honors me. Read, even though your tears anoint the page. There is an immense library here and I have a card. In Henri Nowens' "Out of Solitude", he writes, "The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair and confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares." Mom and Dad, I don't know where you are spiritually now, but rest assured that our God is not gone. The still small voice you hear in your heart is His voice. The warmth that sometimes enfolds you is Him. The tears that tremble just beneath your heartbeat is Him. He is in you, as I am. I want you to know that I am O.K. I have sent you messages to ease your pain, they come in the form of flowers that bloom out of season, birds singing, voices and visions and sometimes through your friends and even strangers who volunteer as angels. Stay open but don't expect the overly dramatic. You will get what you need and it may be simply an internal peace. You are not crazy, you have been comforted. Please seek out people bereaved longer than you. They are tellers of truth, and if they have done their work, are an inspiration and a beacon of hope whose pain lessened dramatically. And one more wisdom before I close. There are still funny happenings in our world. It delights me to no end when I hear your spontaneous, uncontrolled laughter. That, too, will come in due time. Today, I light a candle for you. Joined with your candle, let their light shine above the darkness. Affectionately,
Your Angel Child
Hi Jessica--After about a week of trying, I'm finally able to respond to your blog. (Not exactly user friendly!)
Anyway, your kids are all beautiful. You are blessed. Joshua's grandma
It's so nice to hear that the plans for Ethins ball came together so well. And it's so special to celebrate his birthday. Your welcome for the picture that I posted and I don't mind at all if you copied it. The story of Ethin really touched me and I wanted to do something in remembrance of him.
Forever in our thoughts and prayers
Alisha, Jay, Josh and Ryan
www.ryanschd.blogspot.com
I loved getting to know your children. They are very beautiful Jess. I hope someday I get to meet them and you too. Your in my heart and prayers girl. Keep Singing.
In his Love
Beverly Lipe
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