Saturday, October 6, 2012

Firsts Still Happen

So life here is crazy as normal.  I am loving life and the experiences I am having for example I went to my first MSU game for this season and it was under the Spartan lights!  I was able to go thanks to my boyfriends dad and a friend that sits by us at Spartan Stadium.  So we got an extra ticket to the Notre Dame vs. Michigan State and I was able to experience my first MSU game of the season with my amazing boyfriend!!!
Phil and I at the ND vs MSU game September 15, 2012
 I have come to realize that while I am getting to experience some "firsts" there are still some first things that start to happen that I am not getting to experience.  Weird how that as time has passed I am learning that there are always going to be things that I am missing out on.  The big one this fall as school started I had friends that sent there children off to their first day of school.  This is something that I had forgotten would come to pass.  This is an experience that I have experienced with Jessa, Jonathin, and Jayde.  It is however an experience that I did not get to go through with Ethin.  As I looked at pictures of my friends sending their children off to school a small part of my heart ached as I did not get to send Ethin off to school.
I think the general misconception that I had after that first year was over is that I would finally not have more firsts, but I do.  I still have firsts that will not happen.  Life has seemed to level out, but there will always be someone missing.  As life has continued to move I still think often of Ethin and the life we were supposed to have.
I have also realized that there will never be a good reason that he is gone and I will never stop missing him or wanting him here, but I do know that while the pain is there God will always give me enough Grace to get through it.

1 comment:

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