Snow Fall

I have not posted this in a while so here is the normal stuff then I will write. Please check out the website for the Heart Ball here and leave a message. Stef and I have worked hard at putting it together and I encourage you to follow the progress of the ball here.

The First Annual Ethins Heart Still Beats Heart Ball
Ethins Heart Still Beats Heart Ball
January 9, 2010
VFW Hall
9075 Mason Dr
Newaygo, MI 49337

Doors will open at 4:30pm
A welcome will happen at 5:30pm
Dinner immediately following the welcome 6pm-7pm eat dinner
7pm introduction and about the event
715pm introduction of a speaker
745 faces of CHD video
8pm a formal waltz in memory of Ethin Twigg
805pm a thank you and enjoy the rest of our evening dancing
Dinner will be donated and catered by CSK Catering dinner will be plated and served with one glass of wine. There will be other things to drink with a tip jug donation.
There will be a silent auction and dancing after the thank you

Tickets are $75 for one or $125 for two please make checks payable for the tickets to Jessica Twigg and in the memo line write Heart Ball
This is a black tie event so dig out your tuxes and formal gowns for a great cause that will help the Hearts of many!!!
All proceeds from this event will be donated to the University of Michigan Mott's Children's Hospital Congenital Heart Center in Memory of Ethin RaiLuc Twigg 1/9/09-6/27/09
R.S.V.P. to Jessica Twigg
513 Sunset Dr.
Newaygo, MI 49337
chdhlhs09@yahoo.com
616-634-3029

Also the Cuddles From the Heart website as Iowa kicks off the handouts this weekend!!! And MI will be doing ours before the end of December. There will be posts here for both!!! So excited to see how every one's state turns out. I feel so blessed to have been able to head up this project in MI and look forward to our handout later this month.


Alright on to the writing......

Well I will start with we finally have snow in MI. I am not a snow person at all. Not to mention I guess that it is a hard reminder for me that Ethin is not here. There will be no first snowfall pics with him or bundling him up for his first feel of snow. I wonder does it snow in Heaven??? Not sure but I do know I needed to make him a part of Winter here.

I wrote his name in the snow. I love you Punk!!!And went to the cemetery the snow looks so pretty here too. And the flag is beautiful for Christmas for him Thank you Deanna

Well counseling twice in one week makes me feel a few things. One like I am seriously not doing well. Two like my "Coach" thinks I am not doing well. Lastly that I think it is better this way!! Yes I normally go once a week, but went twice this week and am sure that I needed it. However it is a funny thing. Knowing that there is someone there wants to help and wants to understand enough to help me through this makes it a bit easier. I think that before I always hated the thought of having to do this, but now I know it is what I need to do for me and for the J Triplets. I will get through this I can do this!

I am so overwhelmed by emotions lately and have closed myself off to the world. Well not tonight. Or this weekend at all. Tonight I did the Annual Christmas walk. Tomorrow I am going to the Progressive dinner at church and Sunday I AM going to church. I am not sure throwing myself so hard into all this is the best way, but I NEED to feel "Normal" again and I NEED to know that my life CAN go on without Ethin. It will not go on like it used to, but at least be manageable on some level.

Today at the cemetery I fell apart. I just knelt on the cold wet ground and put my arms around Ethin's headstone and sobbed. I cried so hard I forgot that it was snowy and cold out. I just sobbed. I miss him so very much. I hate that I am going to a cemetery at the age of 26 where MY child is buried. I am supposed to go to cemeteries to pay respects to grandparents NOT my son. Oh how I miss him. Such an emptiness in my life, my heart, my soul, and my arms.

With the snowfall I guess it brought me to think of things in the past year as I know the year is rounding down. What a year.....And I could not help but think how last year at this time Ethin was alive in my belly kicking and moving. I was making snow angels laughing putting my life and his in God's hands. I was preparing to sing for the Christmas Eve service Breath of Heaven by Amy Grant. There is a line in that song that says "I am frightened by the load I bear." Yes I sang that last year so afraid of the load I was also bearing at the time. Yet I was trusting that the Breath of Heaven would be My light and hold me together through it.

Thinking of last year and singing that song I am reflecting on how I am feeling this year. I am now bearing a load again. Much different than last year but a load none the less. Last year I was carrying Ethin and was so frightened. This year I am bearing my grief, guilt, and sadness for Ethin and I am frightened. Like last year I am again praying that the Breath of Heaven will be light and hold me together. God I am here and I am not tiptoeing anymore I am running I NEED you to carry me. My life is yours.

Yes I am God's child. He has not left me or forsaken me. God had a plan and this year was part of his plan for Ethin, Jessa, Jonathin, Jayde, me, and so many people that follow our family. God had and has a plan that we may never begin to comprehend, but we must have blind Faith. We must have Faith that HE will get us through it. Hope that there is life after this world where we will all walk together. Yes God catch me with your arms because I am running.

So many things to think about and so many things to do. My head is so filled with thoughts some that contradict another and some that just leave me feeling like my head may explode. However they are thoughts that I have. I am trying to get the gull to put up the tree, but have just not found it. Everyone is putting theirs up and I see them and pictures of them and I can not even get one up. Seems like a tedious and hard task one that will be full of tears and not the good kind. So at times I think I have to do a tree and other times I think I am skipping Christmas all together.I did go tot the Christmas walk tonight. The Christmas walk is something that started here a few years back and is my favorite thing at this time of year. They have a countdown and light up Newaygo, there is Santa, and Horse drawn rides through the main street that is shut down for three hours for this event. Lots of cookies, popcorn, chestnuts, and hot cocoa. Really amazing to see!! Last year I went pregnant for Ethin. This year I went empty handed and stayed with the Heideman's the whole night. They are a family that I have become very close with. I love them all so very much and am so unsure what I would do without them in my life. We had a GREAT time!!! They have 5 boys who are like little brothers to me and I love being a big sister to them. After the walk we all went out to a restaurant in Newaygo and had dinner! Of course I had my camera!!!! Tammi and I between the two of us pry took 100 pictures!!! LOL

The tree in front of City Hall in downtown Newaygo that was lit at 6pm tonight all the decorations are made by the elementary kids. The J Triplets for the 1st year ever all have an ornament they made on this tree where I could never tell you!!!All the boys AKA my brothers Dakota (Kotaman), Gage (Gagey), Jared, Hunter, and Logan on the wagon rides through main street!
Gage and I after we were done Eating. How can ya not love this face??

Look what Mountain Dew does to us??!! A little goofiness with Gage and Hunter! Told ya I actually had genuine fun!!!

Alright so there is all I have to say besides the poem at the end. Other than I have prayers and praises.
Praises that Baby Hope from my church will be one on Monday. The link to their blog is on my blog list. She was born very premature and is now just such a light of beauty. Thank you God for Hope's first year of life she is truly a blessing!!!
Prayers please
Logan will be going in for a Heart Cath on the 30th. There is a glimmer of hope that this cath may be able to hold off surgery!
Derrick's Appointment went as expected he will be having surgery before the end of January and I ask that you keep them in prayer as they prepare for this.
Ricky a heart friend of ours received his new lung and Heart at CHOP in October. Yesterday the news was given that there is Cancer in his new lung. Ricky was given 1-3 months. Please keep them in your prayers.
Mira who was born at U of M just 11 days after Ethin was placed on the transplant list. Please pray not only for Mira to receive te gift of Life, but for that donor family that will be giving it.

Blessings, Jessica


Heaven's Kiss
The snow tonight finally fell and my tears did too
I looked at it coming down and immediately thought of you
I could not help but close my eyes and put my hands in the air
Wondering if it is snowing there
Hoping that you will experience all the great things in life
Knowing you can now that you know of no strife
Every time the snow hit my face
I thought of God's amazing grace
My sweet son it's at times like this it's you I truly miss
But those flakes when they hit my face was a Heaven's kiss
So as the snow falls down this year
I will try to hold back my every tear
For when it falls and spends a second upon my face
I will remember how it felt to have you in this place

Knowing that every flake of snow on my face is a kiss from you
A Heaven's Kiss in the winter to get me through!
Jessica Twigg
12-5-09

Will You Carry Me?

Well two weeks ago I felt the need to write a lot and now I feel that way again. Sorry to you all just bear with me through it. I know I do not NEED to apologize, but I know how hard it is to "keep" up on blogs so I am sorry, but I need to just get things out. Ya know try to push the world off my shoulders.

I guess in starting I want to tell you that my friend Stefanie used Ethin this week for her Heart Heroes on her page When Life Hands You A Broken Heart. For me this is just another way that Ethin is touching lives. He is my Hero. I am honored that she chose him this week and I am proud of him for touching her life in such a way that she included him on this list of Heart Heroes!

Alright well on with the mess I call my broken heart. I am watching my life spin completely out of control and for whatever reason I can not stop it. I really just feel like the world is swallowing me whole. My grief is is consuming, overwhelming, painful, and selfish. Consuming as it is really consumes who I am, Overwhelming as I am unsure how to deal with it anymore, Painful for all the obvious reasons, and selfish because no matter what I do I can not come out of it.
It is selfish, because I have 3 other amazing kids who need me and for the life of me even they can not help me come out of it. I try to focus on them and all I can think is that they do not replace Ethin they are not Ethin. They are Jessa, Jonathin, and Jayde and I love them for who they are. They are each so amazingly perfect in their own way yet I must be a bad parent or something as not even my love for them or the fact that I know they need me as much as they do is helping me.
How is it that even at this point I am worried about me. I went to counseling tonight like I do every Tuesday night. I am the last patient as to avoid all other people. Being around to many people sober is a task that I can not handle. However if you are a people watcher I suppose it may be interesting to see. By the time I get out of the lobby and into the office all my nails are gone. Well tonight by the time I was done I will be going back on Friday. Yep I will see my "coach" twice this week and pry twice a week for a while. Hot DOG!!!
I miss me. I miss who I was. I miss the me that enjoyed being around. I can barely tolerate myself these days. Most days I do not even tolerate myself. Trying to find a level ground through this is next to impossible. Even knowing what I know now I would never have changed my decision to have Ethin. That sounds so crazy.
Having Ethin was the most amazing thing in the world to me. I remember at this time last year I was preparing to have him. I was feeling him kick inside of me and move. I was star watching with him and telling him about the world and winter and holidays. Now I am talking to myself about how I wish all this was not happening.
I want the world to stop with me. I want the world to just stop. Did the world not realize that my son died. My son is dead he is gone and he's not coming back. Ethin is not alive yet I am expected to keep living?! How is this fair or doable? I just want to scream at people specially right now when everyone is so cheery..."DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT MY BABY DIED!!! DO YOU NOT KNOW I DO NOT GET TO CELEBRATE HIS FIRST CHRISTMAS!!!!" Yep that is what I want to scream.

Dear God I have so many questions and they burn
I am really trying to see what is you want me to learn
My eyes are open but my heart is broken
So many words you have left unspoken
Please show me the way
Father I need you to carry me day to day
Help me to figure this out and understand
I'm reaching out take my hand
You're there I know you are
Otherwise I would not be this far
God are you listening to me can you hear?
Sometimes I feel like what your saying is not clear
I've read your words I know you have a master plan
I want to do this and with you I know I can
Right now I am hurting and I'm coming to you on bended knee
The pain I feel can you help me past it help me see?
I miss you in my life and the conversations we used to share
My hurt is to much now it's more than I can bare
Lord I am coming to you for I know you are the way
God please continue to carry me through the day.
Jessica Twigg
12-2-09

Please pray for Logan, Derrick, and Brittney

Blessings, Jessica

I Did It!!!! Turkey Day on a Sunday???!!! Semi-Thankful too does that count?

First of all I need to update the Cuddles From the Heart for MI. We will be taking these blankets to U of M December 14th so I need all blankets within the next week. After I have them I will be taking them down and giving them to the hospital with Deanna Traxler a friend of mine, Sgt. James from QFAD/Heroes and Patricia Pierce. So get me your new store bought or homemade blankets to me within the next week. I also would encourage you to visit the Cuddles from the Heart blog with the link on the right hand side of my blog to see the other states give outs as I know Iowa's is going to be on Saturday.

Alright so I did it I had dinner a turkey one. It started yesterday at a Heart Family's house the Goodfellows. Monica made a great dinner and I was not alone in missing my child while I was there. When I got there Monica said that Faith and Ethin were saying Happy Thanksgiving as she had cut a potatoe and it ended up shaped like a heart. Faith is their daughter that had HLHS and earned her wings in January of 2006. Also there was another family there that lost their 14 year old daughter this past summer to cancer. We all talked about our Angels and no one was mad about it. All their names were mentioned...Hannah, Faith, and Ethin. They were all talked about and missed so much as we all sat together. I am thankful for my Heart Family!!!!

Well today I did dinner here however the prepping started last night. I think Ethin sent me a sign to tell me it would be OK and that he wanted me to enjoy Thanksgiving. Here is Ethin's sign an egg that I cut shaped like a heart!!

What are the chances? There are no coincedences this has to be Ethin!

Anyhow the rest of dinner was made today and it was served to 11 people that I have grown to love as my family. My friend Leslie came over to help and between her and I we did it all....Relish Tray, Veggie Tray, Apple Rings, Sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, corn, carrote, rolls, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce, cherry cheesecake, pumpkin pie, apple pie, baked beans, Green bean casserole, deviled eggs, and baked beans....Here is the table with all the food that would fit on it!!! I had to leave some on the counters my table is not that big! LOL
So Lelie and I did it all except for the Turkey which my friend Tom came over and deep fried!! Oh it was late to the table, but it was good!!! Looks a bit delapitated, but it was great!!!!
And everyone ate I ate way to much this is my food minus the pumpkin pie that I ate!!! LOL Needless to say I am still full!!!

So dinner went well I am full and feeling drained. But I did it. I had Thanksgiving dinner without my sweet boy. I miss him so much and so badly wish he was here and can not help but think how different things would be if he were here. I am so thankful thought that I had Ethin and can not imagine my life if he never would have existed. I found this quote on Ashley's blog and want to share it is how I feel... "Most people only dream of Angels, I held one in my arms." So yes I am thankful for Ethin.

I wanted to share my Turkey day with you all, but I need to share other things to. I am thankful for Jessa who turned 8 today read the previous blog I wrote for her. I am also thankful for Jonathin and Jayde. My life would truly be a total waste if it were not for my children. My kiddos give me life. Though I love them all so very much and differently from another they do not fill the hole in my heart that I have for Ethin. All FOUR of my children make me thankful. I love them. I love that I have the Jtriplets here with me and my heart just aches for Ethin.
Yep I did it today and I am thankful, but now as the house is finally quiet and I sit here all alone to type this blog I am reminded of just how much I wish it was not quiet. I look up and Ethin's pictures are staring at me with those wide eyes. I look beside me and his monky is staring at me. I am thankful yes, but I am hurting is that allowed? I was not supposed to spend Thanksgiving trying so hard to find the things to be thankful for. But I am and I did not get to eat my meal with a baby in my arms. I miss my sweet boy so much.
Oh missing Ethin and him being in Heaven rather than here is so hard. I really have lately began to watch my life spin out of control. The worst part is I know if he was here it would all be so different. But He is not and no matter how hard I try to beat that into my head I can not accept it. I am to be thankful at this time of year and parts of me are, but other parts are so not. And parts if me accept all of this and other parts do not. I have found that again there have been times I "check" out. I am crazy!!!!
As I continue to try and find ways to get through all of this. I also found this quote and I guess I find it to hold true.
"A man who has lost his wife is called a widower.
A child without parents is called an orphan.
But what of a woman whose child has passed?
What am I to be called??? Once a mother of four? Once a Heart Mother??"

Yes what do you call me??? At the schools I am known as Jessa, Jonathin, or Jayde's mom. On the soccer field I am coach. In my home I am mom, but to the world I am a woman who lost her baby. I am once a heart mom. I am one the mother of four. I am the mother that can not pull herself together not even for her other children. I am a woman who is hurting deeply and everyone knows and everyone can tell. I am the woman that people are angry with becasue I can not just get over it. Yes I want to know what am I to be called??



What did I do to deserve all this
Tell me what did I do to never again give him a kiss
Why a punishment so extra hard
God you gave him to me and I was his guard
I watched over him just as you requested
Lord I gave him everything I could I was totally vested
You asked of me a job that would be very tough
How is it that what I gave was not enough?
Before he came crashing down to me I was already preparing
Father becasue of my warrior it was your story I was sharing
Yet some where I must have done something wrong
Becasue pain and hurt is now my broken heart song
So why me what did I do to have you take him away?
Lord tell me did you not hear my prayers and all I had to say?
Now as I cry these tears through this time of year I wonder
God do you see the storm and all of its thunder?
My punk is gone and you took him away from me
And worst of all is the pain that you knew would always be
You see I know we share something in all of this
However when your son died he came to you and his face you can kiss
So you knew the pain I would endure
You took my son rather than give him a cure
You left me standing here with empty arms walking all alone
God you are watching from your heavenly throne
Give him back I need him here with me
God I have come to you on my dirty knees
Please I beg you to take the pain that is in my heart
Show me a way to do this God just help put back the parts
Please wipe these tears as they fall from face
Know that Ethin wasn't soupposed to leave this place
Oh how I need him I know you see my pain
God give him back my loss should never have been your gain!
I know that there is no use in begging any more
Just please Father catch me I am hitting the floor
Since you have him there with you can you do some things for me?
Tell him how I love him and his face I long to see
God he likes to sleep on his belly against my chest
Make sure he knows that because of him I truly feel blessed
He likes to dance he loves to be held for a waltz
Make sure you tell him how perfect he is that he has no faults
God make sure you let him watch his sports and teach him to cheer
Please keep him safe never let him feel fear
Remeber he is punk so many times he will do things his way
Make sure he remembers at bedtime to always pray
God let him listen in from time to time he loved to hear me sing
Oh and teach him to find beauty in every little thing
Teach him the things that I did not get to do
You need to make sure that he has manners saying please and thank-you
Make sure he looks both ways before he crosses the street
And God please tell him when he left he took a part of my heart and his is now complete.
Jessica Twigg
11-29-09



Please pray for Logan and Derrick as they both have appointments this week! And I almost forgot Happy Thanksgiving to my little Iowa Heart buddies! Andrew and Logan this is for you I love you guys!!!!!!

P.S. Logan can you still talk to Elmo for me? I still need those directions!

Blessings,

Jessica

8 Years Ago

November 29, 2001 I gave birth to my first child a girl. I named her Jessa Danyelle. This post is for her.

When I found out I was pregnant for you I was so scared. I was young and had just dropped out of high school. Then the first time I heard your heart beat inside of me I just knew that being a mother was the only thing I wanted in the world. That and I had to go back and graduate high school so I could tell you that you had to finish too. If it were not for you I am sure I would not have ever graduated. You were my driving force.

3 months into my senior I gave birth to you. There you were born at 12:01pm on November 29, 2001. You weighed 8lbs 13oz and were 21 1/2 inches long. They placed you on my chest and at that very moment I will never forget the way that unselfish and unconditional love rushed into my heart. I had tears that flowed down my cheeks as I looked at your face, counted your fingers and your toes. You were perfect in every way.

Jessa you are my first you made me a mom. Everything I would experience as an every day mom I did with you. You were my first baby to feed, change diapers, bathe, hold, and love. I really never knew life could be filled with so much. I graduated high school with honors when you were 6 1/2 months old. Leaving you to finish school was hard, but I had to do it for you.
Since that time those so many years ago so much has changed.

In the past 8 years I have watched you crawl, walk, and run. You were a happy baby and you are a happy little girl. You are much like me that you wear your heart on your sleeve. And you look more like me every day. You went from having little hair to a very full thick head of hair. You are also my very sporty girl. I have watched you go from dance and gymnastics to soccer and cheer leading. I have been fortunate enough to coach your soccer teams and cheer squad.

Jessa you really never cease to amaze me. You have a heart of gold and you are so polite and kind to everyone who crosses your path. Your love for God is the one thing that I hope you cling tight to your whole life. Your willingness to help others at your age is wonderful. I love that your heart is so kind. You are wise beyond your 8 years and you truly have always had an edge on learning.

When I had you my dreams for you were HUGE and they still are. Jessa I hope that you always do your best and never give up on anything. You have the ability to put the world at awe with your heart. I dream of you doing many things, but most importantly that you continue to love with your whole heart and you continue to use your heart in everything that you do. My hopes for you are high, because I know that you are capable of anything you set your mind to. You are going to great things.

Jessa 8 years ago I never imagined being a mother, but I can tell you I could not imagine my life without you and without you giving me the opportunity to be a mother. Continue to set a great example for your little sister and brother. You are a good big sister and they love you and look up to you so very much. I am very proud of you and very proud to be your mommy!

So happy birthday Jessa with all my heart and all my love, Mommy





HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSA
Some pics of Jessa in very random order Please Enjoy!!

Jessa Potter

GO NEWAYGO!!! Homecoming 2008

This past summer at the fair in Owosso

Hay Ride at Cran Hill Ranch summer of 2009

Jessa holding her baby brother Ethin

h
At the Zoo summer of 2009 feeding the birds

After swimming in the Lake at Uncle Izzy and Aunt Jessica's Summer of 2009

Cheerleading with confidence!! LOL

d
Jessa on September 20, 2009 before the QFAD/Heroes golf outing

Me and Jessa at Dave and Busters during our QFAD weekend

Jessa and I today

Jessa with her 2 of her 3 siblings

Jessa being a loving big sister from the start

Jessa and I in 2006

I love you Jessa

Jessa and I fall of 2008

Jessa Spring of 2009

Spring 2009

One of my fave pics Jessa spring 2009

Fall 2008

First Soccer season!!!!

At the museum when she was in Kindergarten

Jessa Summer of 2006

2nd Christmas

You say Thanksgiving I say Thursday

Wow I just am having such a hard time finding the words to write and the things I want to say. Weird 2 weeks ago I was writing like crazy I could not stop and now I am unsure how to put it all into words. So here we go for nothing.
First off thank you so much for praying for Luke. He is home now.
Next off I guess I should say that I am having a very hard time with all of this. I feel so much and nothing all at once. I am slowly taking myself away from the world. My "coach" says this is not good, but really he has no idea how hard all this is. Now do not get me wrong he is a good counselor. However I just wish I did not need to see him. But I do and so I go. The way I see it at least it gets me outta the house for an hour right???
Yes I have spent about 95% of the last week locked in my house. I have no need or want to leave my home. If it were not for Inge I am sure I would not even go outside of the front door. However because of her and the fact that cleaning dog messes is not appealing I do at least take her out.
So Thursday is fast approaching.....Not looking forward to it I will not lie I am very much dreading the whole day. Everyone being thankful, happy, and smiling right now is just not my bag ya know??? Thursday is a reminder of a big day that Ethin is not here for. Please do not get me wrong I am thankful for the J Triplets, but they will be with their dad so really what the hell am I supposed to do???? I will not be a mother on that day and it is a day I need to feel like I am needed.
I was guilted into going to my family's house even though I offered to cook dinner here! I still am going to cook here as I am sure that will be short lived. My fuse is already so short and I know that it is not going to be any longer on Thursday. So I am going to do my best to plaster the fake smile on my face and do this whole "family" thing that I do NOT want to do. Thankfully my family all drinks so I know there will be a glass of wine with my name on it. Oh how I hate wine, but I have a feeling I may need it.
Then the day after Thursday is nothing more than a reminder of the fact that Ethin has been gone for 5 months. 5 very long, exhausting, emotionally draining months since my punk left this Earth and Heaven gained an angel. I can not believe it's been that long yet at times it still feels like yesterday I was on the phone pleading with Dr. Goldstein to not let him die, begging him to keep Ethin alive until I could get there. That was not the case and Ethin was gone. 5 months ago I held his lifeless body in my arms and cried begging him to wake up.
Dear God how did this happen to me??? How did I become the parent that left without my baby??? How am I the one with such an empty heart and very empty arms??? Last year on Thursday I was very full of food, still having morning sickness, and feeling him kick in my belly. He was still SAFE. Now he is gone and I am so forever changed.
Ya know if life was everything I wanted it to be Ethin would be here and Thursday would be Thanksgiving not just Thursday. If he were here I would be so thankful and so happy to go be with my family. BUT he's NOT!!! HE IS NOT HERE!!! And I do not want to do this!! Life is so unfair and so damn cruel the way it cuts you deep to the core. Yes I am angry while everyone around me is thankful and happy. I am down right depressed and livid!
Oh I am so sorry that you are all reading this. This is why I have not wrote. I feel as though I am regressing and so badly do not want to disappoint any of you. I am thankful for all of you. I just needed to get all that out. Now I want to say a few things that are good....
I am thankful for Jessa, Jonathin, and Jayde
I am thankful for Ethin
I am thankful for my amazing grandma
I am thankful for my heart family that spreads across the entire USA
I am thankful for all the medical staff at Mott
I am also thankful for the very awkwardly warm weather in MI
OK I also have some big news.....I am hoping to do the handout for the Cuddles from the Heart program in December so I need all th blankets by November 30. You can mail your new or homemade blankets to me at Jessica Twigg 513 Sunset Dr. Newaygo, MI 49337
Also the last day to get me pics for the CHD video for the Heart Ball is November 30th. You can email me those pics to chdhlhs09@yahoo.com I need them by then as Stef and I will be editing the video so it can be ordered by December 15. If you are going to want a copy of the DVD you will need to email me so I know.

Blessings, Jessica

Heartfelt Blogger Award

First thing I want to share on this update is that tonight when I got on here I was left a message by Lauren that she had nominated me for the Heart Felt Blogger award! Laurens Blog is Lauren's Heart Hope~Love~Faith. Lauren gave me this award and it just touched my heart to know that she thinks so highly of my writing about our life since Ethin entered this world and now the blog as our family grieves the loss of Ethin. Thank You so much Lauren I am so touched!

The Heartfelt Blogger Award is awarded to the blogs that make us feel all comfy or warm inside when we read them.

Here are the Rules for this award:

1) Display the award logo
2) Nominate up to 9 blogs that make you feel warm and fuzzy inside
3) Link to your nominees and leave a comment on their blog telling them about the award

4) Link to the person whom you received the award

Here are the blogs that I am nominating in no order at all the blogs that I red and follow and that really just touch me to the core.

1) Shannon as she just always is so positive and encouraging and I love the way she shares their CHD journey with "D". He is such a ham and I she has been there for me through so much of this journey after losing Ethin.

2) Sundie I just loving reading about Sydnie and her sister. She is a true CHD Warrior and Sundie shares this journey with us and it gives HOPE!

3) Emily is a friend from church that I grew up with and when her niece was born last year she began to share Hope's journey with all of us and her posts are always so positive and uplifting. I find so many times that I smile reading this journey.

4) Ashley she shares her husbands and life after the loss of their son Nolan. She writes in ways that make it easy to connect and she expresses so many things that I have felt.

5) Leeanne is a Heart mom but this is HER blog that I follow where she talks about life in general and how she feels. She is so open and honest and it touches my heart to read her honesty and about her amazing Faith.

These are the blogs I chose however I love all the ones I follow and read. Again Thank You Lauren for nominating me and giving me a tear as I see by writing that Ethin, the J Triplets and I are giving Hope to others and touching lives. I really just write to get it out never thought I would be honored with such a lovely award. Thank you!

Alright now on to the blogging!!! I am not going to include the Heart Ball and Cuddles stuff in this update, but I will ask for pics for The Faces of CHD Video I am making for the Heart Ball. I need pics of CHD warriors, angels, adults for the video I am putting together I am going to accept pics till the end of the month. I with a picture need the name, CHD, and if it is an angel I need the birth date and Angel date. You can email them to me at chdhlhs09@yahoo.com Spread this word around please. And thanks in advance.
Well things here are fast paced and forever changing. I am staying so very busy with the preparations for the Heart Ball and sorting through blankets for the Cuddles from the Heart program. Oh the way that everything seems to be falling into place and none of this would have happened without Ethin.
I have found myself quite sick again. If I am not better by tomorrow I will be going to the doctor yet again. I am so sick of being sick!!!
With being sick that brings me to Luke the nephew of a very good friend of mine. I asked for prayers for him earlier this week. He is having a scope done at 730 on Friday morning, because the doctors said that he has been sick for to long. Please continue to pray for this family here is his care page go there and leave them a message please! cp: davidluke

Well with getting that award from Lauren it has made me feel the need to write a few things...When Ethin was born in January I started his care page cp: Ethinspage to update our family and friends and church on how he was doing. I quickly connected with other heart families and families with sick children. They would come to his page and read and leave messages for us. After Ethin passed away so many people asked that I keep everyone posted on the J Triplets and myself. I thought I owed that to so many who prayed for our family and then I found that it was just a great way for me to express so many things. I created this blog to continue to do that. I know that sometimes when I write it makes many cry or many have no words. That is really OK I never realized until Lauren gave me this award that I really am touching your lives with my words. I just knew that I had to keep writing and keep sharing my thoughts. So thank you for opening your hearts to my family and I. Thank you for supporting me and reading even when it is not easy to do so.
I will try to blog a good blog this weekend, but I need to get back to sleep.
Blessings,
Jessica

Prayers for Luke Please!!!

Not for me or my kids but here is the update please just pray and spread the word there are 2400 followers we can send some prayers!!! Love you all thanks here is the info

I have a huge prayer request for one of my very close friends 9 year old nephew Luke Marsh he has been at DeVos children's hospital now since Friday and was transferred there after spending a day at another hospital they said he has swine flu and possibly a bacterial infection please pray for him and his family.
Here is his care page I was just given it go and leave this amazing family and sweet kid a message of support! cp: davidluke

https://www.carepages.com/carepages/davidluke

Please pray for him and go leave a message letting them know we are all here. You have all been so supportive and amzing for me and my kids.....This is my friends Tammi and Tom's nephew and Tammi and Tom are like my family so please pray for Luke!