The First Annual Ethins Heart Still Beats Heart Ball
Ethins Heart Still Beats Heart Ball
January 9, 2010
VFW Hall
9075 Mason Dr
Newaygo, MI 49337
Doors will open at 4:30pm
A welcome will happen at 5:30pm
Dinner immediately following the welcome 6pm-7pm eat dinner
7pm introduction and about the event
715pm introduction of a speaker
745 faces of CHD video
8pm a formal waltz in memory of Ethin Twigg
805pm a thank you and enjoy the rest of our evening dancing
Dinner will be donated and catered by CSK Catering dinner will be plated and served with one glass of wine. There will be other things to drink with a tip jug donation.
There will be a silent auction and dancing after the thank you
Tickets are $75 for one or $125 for two please make checks payable for the tickets to Jessica Twigg and in the memo line write Heart Ball
This is a black tie event so dig out your tuxes and formal gowns for a great cause that will help the Hearts of many!!!
All proceeds from this event will be donated to the University of Michigan Mott's Children's Hospital Congenital Heart Center in Memory of Ethin RaiLuc Twigg 1/9/09-6/27/09
R.S.V.P. to Jessica Twigg
513 Sunset Dr.
Newaygo, MI 49337
chdhlhs09@yahoo.com
616-634-3029
Also the Cuddles From the Heart website as Iowa kicks off the handouts this weekend!!! And MI will be doing ours before the end of December. There will be posts here for both!!! So excited to see how every one's state turns out. I feel so blessed to have been able to head up this project in MI and look forward to our handout later this month.
Alright on to the writing......
Well I will start with we finally have snow in MI. I am not a snow person at all. Not to mention I guess that it is a hard reminder for me that Ethin is not here. There will be no first snowfall pics with him or bundling him up for his first feel of snow. I wonder does it snow in Heaven??? Not sure but I do know I needed to make him a part of Winter here.
I wrote his name in the snow. I love you Punk!!!
And went to the cemetery the snow looks so pretty here too. And the flag is beautiful for Christmas for him Thank you Deanna
And went to the cemetery the snow looks so pretty here too. And the flag is beautiful for Christmas for him Thank you DeannaWell counseling twice in one week makes me feel a few things. One like I am seriously not doing well. Two like my "Coach" thinks I am not doing well. Lastly that I think it is better this way!! Yes I normally go once a week, but went twice this week and am sure that I needed it. However it is a funny thing. Knowing that there is someone there wants to help and wants to understand enough to help me through this makes it a bit easier. I think that before I always hated the thought of having to do this, but now I know it is what I need to do for me and for the J Triplets. I will get through this I can do this!
I am so overwhelmed by emotions lately and have closed myself off to the world. Well not tonight. Or this weekend at all. Tonight I did the Annual Christmas walk. Tomorrow I am going to the Progressive dinner at church and Sunday I AM going to church. I am not sure throwing myself so hard into all this is the best way, but I NEED to feel "Normal" again and I NEED to know that my life CAN go on without Ethin. It will not go on like it used to, but at least be manageable on some level.
Today at the cemetery I fell apart. I just knelt on the cold wet ground and put my arms around Ethin's headstone and sobbed. I cried so hard I forgot that it was snowy and cold out. I just sobbed. I miss him so very much. I hate that I am going to a cemetery at the age of 26 where MY child is buried. I am supposed to go to cemeteries to pay respects to grandparents NOT my son. Oh how I miss him. Such an emptiness in my life, my heart, my soul, and my arms.
With the snowfall I guess it brought me to think of things in the past year as I know the year is rounding down. What a year.....And I could not help but think how last year at this time Ethin was alive in my belly kicking and moving. I was making snow angels laughing putting my life and his in God's hands. I was preparing to sing for the Christmas Eve service Breath of Heaven by Amy Grant. There is a line in that song that says "I am frightened by the load I bear." Yes I sang that last year so afraid of the load I was also bearing at the time. Yet I was trusting that the Breath of Heaven would be My light and hold me together through it.
Thinking of last year and singing that song I am reflecting on how I am feeling this year. I am now bearing a load again. Much different than last year but a load none the less. Last year I was carrying Ethin and was so frightened. This year I am bearing my grief, guilt, and sadness for Ethin and I am frightened. Like last year I am again praying that the Breath of Heaven will be light and hold me together. God I am here and I am not tiptoeing anymore I am running I NEED you to carry me. My life is yours.
Yes I am God's child. He has not left me or forsaken me. God had a plan and this year was part of his plan for Ethin, Jessa, Jonathin, Jayde, me, and so many people that follow our family. God had and has a plan that we may never begin to comprehend, but we must have blind Faith. We must have Faith that HE will get us through it. Hope that there is life after this world where we will all walk together. Yes God catch me with your arms because I am running.
So many things to think about and so many things to do. My head is so filled with thoughts some that contradict another and some that just leave me feeling like my head may explode. However they are thoughts that I have. I am trying to get the gull to put up the tree, but have just not found it. Everyone is putting theirs up and I see them and pictures of them and I can not even get one up. Seems like a tedious and hard task one that will be full of tears and not the good kind. So at times I think I have to do a tree and other times I think I am skipping Christmas all together.I did go tot the Christmas walk tonight. The Christmas walk is something that started here a few years back and is my favorite thing at this time of year. They have a countdown and light up Newaygo, there is Santa, and Horse drawn rides through the main street that is shut down for three hours for this event. Lots of cookies, popcorn, chestnuts, and hot cocoa. Really amazing to see!! Last year I went pregnant for Ethin. This year I went empty handed and stayed with the Heideman's the whole night. They are a family that I have become very close with. I love them all so very much and am so unsure what I would do without them in my life. We had a GREAT time!!! They have 5 boys who are like little brothers to me and I love being a big sister to them. After the walk we all went out to a restaurant in Newaygo and had dinner! Of course I had my camera!!!! Tammi and I between the two of us pry took 100 pictures!!! LOL
The tree in front of City Hall in downtown Newaygo that was lit at 6pm tonight all the decorations are made by the elementary kids. The J Triplets for the 1st year ever all have an ornament they made on this tree where I could never tell you!!!
All the boys AKA my brothers Dakota (Kotaman), Gage (Gagey), Jared, Hunter, and Logan on the wagon rides through main street!
Gage and I after we were done Eating. How can ya not love this face??
I am so overwhelmed by emotions lately and have closed myself off to the world. Well not tonight. Or this weekend at all. Tonight I did the Annual Christmas walk. Tomorrow I am going to the Progressive dinner at church and Sunday I AM going to church. I am not sure throwing myself so hard into all this is the best way, but I NEED to feel "Normal" again and I NEED to know that my life CAN go on without Ethin. It will not go on like it used to, but at least be manageable on some level.
Today at the cemetery I fell apart. I just knelt on the cold wet ground and put my arms around Ethin's headstone and sobbed. I cried so hard I forgot that it was snowy and cold out. I just sobbed. I miss him so very much. I hate that I am going to a cemetery at the age of 26 where MY child is buried. I am supposed to go to cemeteries to pay respects to grandparents NOT my son. Oh how I miss him. Such an emptiness in my life, my heart, my soul, and my arms.
With the snowfall I guess it brought me to think of things in the past year as I know the year is rounding down. What a year.....And I could not help but think how last year at this time Ethin was alive in my belly kicking and moving. I was making snow angels laughing putting my life and his in God's hands. I was preparing to sing for the Christmas Eve service Breath of Heaven by Amy Grant. There is a line in that song that says "I am frightened by the load I bear." Yes I sang that last year so afraid of the load I was also bearing at the time. Yet I was trusting that the Breath of Heaven would be My light and hold me together through it.
Thinking of last year and singing that song I am reflecting on how I am feeling this year. I am now bearing a load again. Much different than last year but a load none the less. Last year I was carrying Ethin and was so frightened. This year I am bearing my grief, guilt, and sadness for Ethin and I am frightened. Like last year I am again praying that the Breath of Heaven will be light and hold me together. God I am here and I am not tiptoeing anymore I am running I NEED you to carry me. My life is yours.
Yes I am God's child. He has not left me or forsaken me. God had a plan and this year was part of his plan for Ethin, Jessa, Jonathin, Jayde, me, and so many people that follow our family. God had and has a plan that we may never begin to comprehend, but we must have blind Faith. We must have Faith that HE will get us through it. Hope that there is life after this world where we will all walk together. Yes God catch me with your arms because I am running.
So many things to think about and so many things to do. My head is so filled with thoughts some that contradict another and some that just leave me feeling like my head may explode. However they are thoughts that I have. I am trying to get the gull to put up the tree, but have just not found it. Everyone is putting theirs up and I see them and pictures of them and I can not even get one up. Seems like a tedious and hard task one that will be full of tears and not the good kind. So at times I think I have to do a tree and other times I think I am skipping Christmas all together.I did go tot the Christmas walk tonight. The Christmas walk is something that started here a few years back and is my favorite thing at this time of year. They have a countdown and light up Newaygo, there is Santa, and Horse drawn rides through the main street that is shut down for three hours for this event. Lots of cookies, popcorn, chestnuts, and hot cocoa. Really amazing to see!! Last year I went pregnant for Ethin. This year I went empty handed and stayed with the Heideman's the whole night. They are a family that I have become very close with. I love them all so very much and am so unsure what I would do without them in my life. We had a GREAT time!!! They have 5 boys who are like little brothers to me and I love being a big sister to them. After the walk we all went out to a restaurant in Newaygo and had dinner! Of course I had my camera!!!! Tammi and I between the two of us pry took 100 pictures!!! LOL
The tree in front of City Hall in downtown Newaygo that was lit at 6pm tonight all the decorations are made by the elementary kids. The J Triplets for the 1st year ever all have an ornament they made on this tree where I could never tell you!!!
All the boys AKA my brothers Dakota (Kotaman), Gage (Gagey), Jared, Hunter, and Logan on the wagon rides through main street!
Gage and I after we were done Eating. How can ya not love this face??
Look what Mountain Dew does to us??!! A little goofiness with Gage and Hunter! Told ya I actually had genuine fun!!!
Alright so there is all I have to say besides the poem at the end. Other than I have prayers and praises.
Praises that Baby Hope from my church will be one on Monday. The link to their blog is on my blog list. She was born very premature and is now just such a light of beauty. Thank you God for Hope's first year of life she is truly a blessing!!!
Prayers please
Logan will be going in for a Heart Cath on the 30th. There is a glimmer of hope that this cath may be able to hold off surgery!
Derrick's Appointment went as expected he will be having surgery before the end of January and I ask that you keep them in prayer as they prepare for this.
Ricky a heart friend of ours received his new lung and Heart at CHOP in October. Yesterday the news was given that there is Cancer in his new lung. Ricky was given 1-3 months. Please keep them in your prayers.
Mira who was born at U of M just 11 days after Ethin was placed on the transplant list. Please pray not only for Mira to receive te gift of Life, but for that donor family that will be giving it.
Blessings, Jessica
Heaven's Kiss
The snow tonight finally fell and my tears did too
I looked at it coming down and immediately thought of you
I could not help but close my eyes and put my hands in the air
Wondering if it is snowing there
Hoping that you will experience all the great things in life
Knowing you can now that you know of no strife
Every time the snow hit my face
I thought of God's amazing grace
My sweet son it's at times like this it's you I truly miss
But those flakes when they hit my face was a Heaven's kiss
So as the snow falls down this year
I will try to hold back my every tear
For when it falls and spends a second upon my face
I will remember how it felt to have you in this place
Praises that Baby Hope from my church will be one on Monday. The link to their blog is on my blog list. She was born very premature and is now just such a light of beauty. Thank you God for Hope's first year of life she is truly a blessing!!!
Prayers please
Logan will be going in for a Heart Cath on the 30th. There is a glimmer of hope that this cath may be able to hold off surgery!
Derrick's Appointment went as expected he will be having surgery before the end of January and I ask that you keep them in prayer as they prepare for this.
Ricky a heart friend of ours received his new lung and Heart at CHOP in October. Yesterday the news was given that there is Cancer in his new lung. Ricky was given 1-3 months. Please keep them in your prayers.
Mira who was born at U of M just 11 days after Ethin was placed on the transplant list. Please pray not only for Mira to receive te gift of Life, but for that donor family that will be giving it.
Blessings, Jessica
Heaven's Kiss
The snow tonight finally fell and my tears did too
I looked at it coming down and immediately thought of you
I could not help but close my eyes and put my hands in the air
Wondering if it is snowing there
Hoping that you will experience all the great things in life
Knowing you can now that you know of no strife
Every time the snow hit my face
I thought of God's amazing grace
My sweet son it's at times like this it's you I truly miss
But those flakes when they hit my face was a Heaven's kiss
So as the snow falls down this year
I will try to hold back my every tear
For when it falls and spends a second upon my face
I will remember how it felt to have you in this place
Knowing that every flake of snow on my face is a kiss from you
A Heaven's Kiss in the winter to get me through!
Jessica Twigg
12-5-09
A Heaven's Kiss in the winter to get me through!
Jessica Twigg
12-5-09
2 comments:
Hi Jess, I just have to tell you. I have been with you through a lot of this. I am a Sofi follower and I have to tell you, you are wonderful.I love your faith and you eagerness to move on. you are an amazing mother. I love that about you. I can not imagine how you feel but I do know that I have cried with you. Ethan was so beautiful. I loved seeing pictures of him and especially with you. I loved the love you shared with him and the j triplets. I do hope some weight will be lifted off of you this year. I hope you will be able to enjoy your life again someday. Never forget how amazing you are. Never forget how many people love you. I am sorry I don't write to you. I have never missed a single posting. Each one has left me in tears. I didn't know baby Ethan in life but I do know him through you. He was very lucky to have you as his mommy. Hugs and Kisses from Ohio
April
Jess,
This was a beautiful heartfelt post. I am glad that you are finally feeling that the therapy is what you need and accepting that you do need some help in your grieving. I also think it is a good sign that you are at least willing to get outside your house to be part of the world. I know it won't be easy and you will have your moments of tears....but in small baby steps you can do it.
I loved the snow pics with Ethin's name. I believe it can even snow in heaven!
Stef, Ryan, Wyatt and Logan
http://www.whenlifehandsyouabrokenheart.blogspot.com
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