The Things I Would Say

Well Sunday is fast approaching and that will be a hard day. In thinking of it I wrote Ethin this letter. I thought I would share though as it is completely my heart.


Ethin if I could hold you one more time there is a lot that I would say to you. I love you so much and I miss you. I will miss you every day. I know that a better place calls to you and son I can not be angry that you want to go there. Ethin you have touched all those who crossed your path. Thousands of people know who are. I promise that I will always keep you alive. I know that you can not physically stay, but you will live on. Punk I love your fight and all that you are. I love your smile and your eyes. I love how every day with you was a gift. So much of life’s lessons you taught. You lived everyday the way we all should. Smiling and lighting up the world. If we all could touch a tenth of the lives you did this world would be a brighter place. I am proud of who you are and ever will be. I have never in my life met anyone like you and I am proud that I was chosen to be your heart mommy. I will always be your mommy. For a while we can not be together and I am sorry for that. I promised I would never leave you and please know that I haven’t. I am with you every day. I know that this seems impossible, but when you left you took a part of my heart with you and now yours is whole. So I am with you. Son you are always with me. You live in me. I am proud of the way you fought and I know you won your fight. I promise that I will keep fighting for your heart brothers and sisters. The way you fought and with such Grace the least I can do is honor that. I also promise that Jessa, Jonathin, and Jayde will know of all that you are. They will know of their little brother and the amazing way you lived. They will because of you, know to live every day as a gift. Yes son you were a gift to this world and to our lives. You were and always will be a light in all this dark. Your courage is one to be commended. I know you will not be scared without me. Watch the Tigers from the best seat in the house! Tell your great-grandfathers we love them. Please remember to look both ways up there. Don’t forget to say please and thank you. Smell the flowers I think they are better than the ones here. Let the sun dance across your cheeks and feel its warmth. Look at the stars like we did when you were in my belly. When you do that know I am doing the same and in the suns warmth feel my arms around you. Smile all the time show them what your made of. I know God needed a real angel to brighten his heavens so show him that smile. I Love You Ethin more than anything and I hate that we can not be together like we were, but one day pry only minutes to you and years to me we will be together again I promise. One day you can show me Heaven. You can show me the flowers and the best places to play. One day we will dance again and I will sing in your ear. One day we will be together in Heaven Forever I promise! I love you with all of my heart, Mommy