Hard to imagine you left this place and I have survived year one
I often think of you and smile when I think of where you are
At night I look to Heaven and know you are the brightest star
Never a day has gone by since you left this place that I do not speak your name
In the last year I have had to realize that I am different no longer the same
Many said it would get better it would get easier but that is just not true
It numbed and then it got harder learning to live again without you
Most days I have guilt for learning how to smile through the hurt of every day
Then I thought of you and all the pain you endured and smiling was your way
Often I wonder if you think of me as often as I think of you
Then I think of Heaven and know that there is no missing so this can not be true
I miss how it feels to hold you in my arms and watch you fall asleep
It still makes me cry when I think of how you were God's gift to me that I couldn't keep
They say sometimes a life is sent but does not need to stay very long
For God's plan never fails every life no matter the length has a special song
Your song my son is still heard your heart beat keeps the time of your melody
Your heart beats in so many I promise that will never change it always will be
I hope you always know that I am very proud of you and all that you have done
Forever know that I am honored that God gave you to me to be my son
I will never lie and tell you that this has been easy honestly it's been the hardest thing
Sometimes God's song is the hardest to accept the hardest one to sing
Your heart and mine are beating together as part of God's ultimate plan
Son you are in me as I am in you together with God I will sing this song the best that I can
Jessica Twigg
6-25-10
I also wanted to share this song that I heard earlier this week it really describes how I felt when Ethin was here and maybe how I feel now at times and how I am sure many of us who have watched our children and babies struggle have felt or feel.....
With so much love and thanks as I approach Sunday,
P.S. Yes I am still in grief counseling I am ALLOWED to feel this I am ALLOWED to have a bad day and I am sorry that I hurt I wish I didn't....
3 comments:
{{{HUG}}}
Big, big hugs Jess...and lots of prayers.
We love you!
Nice dispatch and this mail helped me alot in my college assignement. Gratefulness you seeking your information.
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